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A large part of the world’s population is miserable and views meditation as a surefire way to deepen all the wounds that make life unlivable.
Seeing the sweet-faced monk in his ochre-colored robes swaying gracefully as he walks reminds many of us of a world so foreign that any envy that might be stirred is quickly buried in contempt.
Privilege, it seems, is often uneven handed. Some walk as if in a dream while others carry the world on their shoulders. Companions and friends keep company with those who seemingly are content in their own skin while those who feel threatened and abused can scarcely find a shoulder to shed a tear on, nor does a word of sympathy grace their ears. For those of us born of the street of hard knocks, the message of the monastic is unwelcome and repelled. What does he know of our world and our needs?
Dharma is for everyone, but what it is that will benefit each of us is unique to each individual and her situation. Dharma comes in many forms, and it is not necessarily true that it is confined to rules, discipline, meditation, scripture, whose aim it is to achieve blissful states of awareness. First and foremost, dharma practice is about being a good human being, a true friend, an understanding friend, and a generous friend. It is by example that we are taught the dharma, and it is by example that we learn the truth of scripture.
Many of us are tired of the words of meditation teachers who come from another world to brighten ours. What do they know of the hellhole we live in? And then they tell us to watch our breath as it moves in and out our nostrils while we quiver and shake with trauma and anxiety. What use is mindfulness instructions from instructors who have not awakened their own hearts sufficiently to know what is appropriate?
Who are the meditation teachers who prance about offering the teachings of the masters when they scarcely recognize when a good friend is what is needed with the warmth to melt our troubled heart? Dharma teachers are often so confined to a formula that it is beyond their capacity to see the antidote to our ills. Dharma is about communication and how to put oneself in another shoes and sympathize in a genuine manner. When people of wisdom teach the dharma it is embraced because it is taught native to the circumstances of the individual being taught.
If you think “How can I practice the dharma?” because you feel so far from the goal of the spiritual life, whether you are evil or a victim of evil, or misfortune is your burden, then the “spiritual life” you envision will indeed be an unattainable giant leap. And you will recognize as much and not think about it further. Many don’t.
But, if you think in terms of making a start rather than reaching a goal, then everything becomes possible. Next, if you seek out and find a spiritual guide without his head in the clouds to teach you, he will teach you by helping you get grounded in yourself, be a good friend, generous, and be open and available.
It may be a hard pill to swallow, but it will go down easier if the one giving us instructions has swallowed the pill herself. We may have much to be bitter about, but nothing happens by accident. Are we blameless? Probably not. Can we change? Probably so. Are there worthy guides? Yes. Are they easy to find? No. Can you find one? Definitely.
It is said: “When the student is ready, the master appears.” Are you ready? If you are willing to pay attention to the good qualities you see in others and try to find them in yourself, and see the negative qualities in others and reduce them in yourself, you will attract someone in your life to help you. She will help you to see that many things you already do are dharma practice and that you are right to be repulsed by teachings out of touch with your world.
The skillful teacher in her wisdom will know that what is so contrary to you now will one day be clear, but for the time being guides you through your familiar affairs until you realize the dharma has been with you all along, waiting for you to realize it.
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