{Self-Help is Bad for You; Waylon Lewis’ forthcoming book}
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Author’s Bitter Diatribe
To those who hated this book as it unfurled online (see comments on the OG articles on Elephant Journal!), who wondered “what’s the effing point, Waylon!?” and went on to add: “You’re a jerk! What you’re saying is offensive! Don’t kill the darlings! Don’t make fun of sacred cows! You’re an idiot.”
First of all, you’re not wrong. I am an idiot, often. And I say that with kindness and frankness, not self-hate or over-seriously. Most of us (not you, of course, and not my mother) are all idiots, sometimes. But the teachings of Buddhism, including Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, have inspired my life, and in many ways inspired this book.
And as far as shutting up or being nicer: well, sorry, can’t do that for you.
Secondly: please stop hurting my feelings. I’m writing these things to become rich and famous and popular, not insulted and reviled and belittled.
Is it arrogant to judge others? Probably. But this isn’t quite that. Spiritual Materialism isn’t about judging others, particularly, it’s about rediscovering that things aren’t solid, but they do matter, and that we can maintain a sense of humor.
Studying Spiritual Materialism, and calling out others or our own mistaken arrogance, is actually the opposite of…arrogant. This isn’t something “bad people” suffer from—it’s something we all fall into—including me! It’s arrogant to pretend our ego doesn’t want to use spirituality, or anything it can get its hands on, to feel more secure and stronger and powerful. To cover up our heart’s natural insecurity and rawness and fear…instead of getting to know our dear heart and making friends with our dear, confused selves.
And finally, in case you think judging is the problem, remember: you judge what to have for lunch. Should I eat this dog poop? Or an organic apple? That’s judgement, but no one would fault you for choosing the apple. The problem is pre-judgement—you know, prejudice—being caught in our preconceptions. That’s what meditation works with, and that’s why meditation can be frustratingly hard to monetize!
But don’t worry, we’ll keep trying, this is the land of capitalism!
Introduction to Waylon’s forthcoming “Self-Help is Bad for you.”
If you’re fancy and fake-spiritual in a materialistic way, making fun of Spiritual Materialism will insult you. I know that because I wrote this, and it’s going around insulting me.
If you’re confused and sweet and serious and want to be helpful and sane this will be an alternately fun and very occasionally funny read, and a helpful one (well, this stuff helped me and many others I know).
Spiritual Materialism, from the Buddhist perspective, is something we all suffer from. That’s the bad news. On the positive side, it’s really fun to make fun of it (and ourselves).
Spiritual materialism isn’t something they have and we don’t. It’s something that affects all of us. Spiritual materialism is about fake spirituality, about malas as fashion and yoga as a weight-loss program and organics as a reason to vote for Trump…but let’s be clear: it isn’t about punching down. It’s about popping pomp and teasing privilege and irritating ego.
It isn’t making fun of those who “fake it ’til you make it.” Stepping forward into life when you feel soft and open is brave and powerful.
So what the eff is it? Spiritual Materialism is our ego’s tendency to use anything, including spirituality, to build itself up and use and even abuse others in its quest for solidity and love. See: Trump. Because, of course, our egos are cunning, pernicious, impressively wily. They’re dedicated to their own survival against the tides of truth, reality, heartbreak, bad news, meditation—anything that might (the horror!) wake us up out of our storylines.
When spirituality gets trendy—mindfulness is hot, check it out!—or becomes a fashion or lifestyle statement, two things happen. It gets popular, which is good—more people gain access to a wisdom path.
And it gets monetized. And when Capitalism gets its sticky fingers on things, things get twisted.
Yoga was uncool for a long time. Then, it got popular! Millions of people suddenly had access to yoga week in and week out. Yay!
But, too, yoga became trademarked and cheapened and heated and used to market all manner of plastic toxic things made overseas by those without windows in their factories…and studios, and classes, became venues for the full range of human neuroses, including craving and the misuse of power.
So we need discernment, to keep us on the path. Because genuine spirituality isn’t about fitting in, or showing off, or putting teachers on pedestals. It’s meant to be a way to be of benefit. To see truth, to find sanity through the confusing fogs of life’s winding paths.
Genuine spirituality, like real love, is there for you when it’s hot, and when it’s not. Genuine spirituality is fine with becoming trendy, or hot, or cool, or stylish. And it’s fine with being out, being uncool, being boring. It’s like a rock, or a tree, or a mountain. Whether it goes viral on TikTok, or not, really doesn’t matter. It just is. Real, simple, basic.
Let’s practice not take ourselves so seriously. Let’s practice allowing our solid ideas to breathe. Not because our convictions don’t matter, but because…well, if you’ve read the Heart Sutra, you’ll remember that things are what they are, and they’re also…empty. It’s not that things don’t matter. Nihilism is lazy. It’s that things matter dearly, and so we care, and our caring includes remembering not to go to war over our version of peace.
Our world is not as solid as it seems. Nothing is.
Row, row, row your boat. Life is but a dream.
As a longtime favorite Buddhist teaching reminds us, may we delight in being present:
Since everything is but an apparition,
perfect in being what it is,
having nothing to do with good or bad,
acceptance or rejection,
one may well burst out in laughter.
~ Longchenpa, a Tibetan meditation teacher
You know: it’s more fun to laugh at ourselves than it is to hold the truth so tightly we choke off its air supply.
And from the Hagakure, over in Japan:
‘”Matters of great concern should be treated lightly. Matters of small concern should be treated seriously.”‘
For if we’re traveling the path of making friends with ourselves, and finding truth, and living to be of benefit…well we might as well enjoy ourselves as we go. In Buddhism, there’s two kinds of “heroes”—those who wake up, get enlightened, serve others…and those who wake up, get enlightened, serve others, and enjoy the journey. Those in that second category are classed higher. I’ve always loved that.
So make fun of your sweet self, and make fun of the path, and make fun of what genuine spirituality might be, or might not be. It ain’t commercialism.
It’s not that you or me are saying what genuine spirituality is: as they say in Zen Buddhism…
the moment you say it, it’s no longer true
…but that it can be helpful to point out a genuine path that’s helpful for all sentient beings—as opposed to being captured by our own hero-worshipping self-serious fear-based theism, or longing for a cozy cult.
The point always remains the same: let’s wake up (Buddha literally means “one who has awakened”) and serve all sentient beings (a la the Bodhisattvas).
May you enjoy the chapters presented here (many were originally roughly-written blogs that garnered millions of readers on Elephant Journal over the years), that make up this book. And may we learn something along the way: that discernment is not only okay, but healthy, and not quite the same as being judgy or mean.
May we remember to make fun of our sweet selves.
To be silly.
To be deeply caring, too, and willing to swim upstream against the tides of what they’re selling us.
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