Okay … I want you to know with all of my heart that there is so much to look forward to after narcissistic abuse.
I know that you may not be able to feel this yet. However, it is the truth!
When you know how to release the trauma and break free into your true Thriver Recovery, the breakdowns shift to breakthroughs that will continually delight you.
I really hope as I share these 5 amazing things to look forward to after narcissistic abuse that the reasons that they are possible, will become crystal clear to you.
Number One – Trusting Your Intuition And Using Discernment
When going through the horrors of narcissistic abuse, you realise how your belief in the good nature of people is not necessarily a healthy thing.
You may have believed that someone looking you in the eye and appearing “so sincere” must mean they are a trustworthy person.
After narcissistic abuse, and before Thriver recovery, Candace, a wonderful member of our community said this, “My trust in humanity is shattered. I’ll never trust anyone ever again. The cost is too high.”
Naturally, the shock that there are bad people in the world, who can get up close and personal and inflict terrible damage upon you, is traumatising.
In the case of an intimate partner choice, you may believe that your “partner picker” is broken. In regard to business, you may feel terrified that you are not able to distinguish between con-people and those with integrity.
Likewise, the trauma involved with having skewered discernment with friendships, family or authorities is a huge and rude awakening for many.
As a result of Thriver recovery, you learn the following powerful truths … just as Candace did after recovering with my NARP Program. This is what she shared …
“It doesn’t hurt me any more to know that bad people DO exist! It’s empowering and mature for me not to blindly trust. I check in with my gut and if something feels off, I investigate. I take my time to access people’s character. It’s healthy and mature. I love this NEW version of me now!”
Candace learned the beauty of trusting herself rather than handing her boundaries, rights and safety to others without getting to know properly who she was dealing with.
Not surprisingly, Candace started to form healthy, wholesome and trustworthy relationships in all areas of her life, because she started making her choices from a wise inner centre, rather than on a whim.
Absolutely, this was life-changing for her!
Number Two – Expanded Confidence
True recovery from narcissistic abuse means recovering and healing the parts of yourself where you used to make yourself small – and even accept abuse – just to try to survive.
Mark had been married to a narcissist for 15 years. He said, “I was blamed so much I had started to believe her version of me. I started isolating, drinking too much and lost my enthusiasm for pretty much everything. By the time I finally left her I had barely any self-esteem left.”
After working with Quanta Freedom Healing, and releasing the traumas from his wife (as well as his over-critical narcissistic mother) Mark was able to grant himself the energy, inspiration and permission to expand into his desires, regardless of what other people thought of him.
Mark went for a promotion at work, which he got, and started pursuing his love of golf. He met a lovely golfing lady who reflected his new values of, “When I expand and love my life, that and who matches me, becomes my life.”
Mark admitted this, “When I look back at who I used to be, I don’t recognise that person anymore. I was stuck trying to please someone at my own detriment. Now I know how fruitless that was, and how great it feels like to have wind in my sails, and love living!”
Number Three – Being Your Authentic Self
If you are not yourself, then you become what you think everyone else wants you to be.
Noelene was devastated by her husband and many family members, whom no matter what she tried to do to make them happy, were not grateful, took advantage of her and even treated her narcissistically and cruelly.
At the time Noelene didn’t realise that narcissistic people can never be appeased, and people in her life could never “see” or “honour” Noelene, because she was a people-pleaser and someone “ethereal” … “I’ll be whoever you may need me to be so that you will love me.”
Where was Noelene? She wasn’t there – because she wasn’t her True Self.
After Thriver Healing, Noelene shifted out of the traumas that had kept her stuck in handing away her “self” and into self-love and self-respect.
She then echoed one of my favourite teachings, “I thought people loved me for how much I gave them, but I started to realise they could only love me in relation to how MUCH I claimed, loved and expressed myself!”
As it turned out Noelene’s sister and husband were narcissistic and had no desire or capacity to be respectful or kind, so Noelene ended these relationships and went No Contact with both. Other family members stepped up, respected her boundaries, stopped taking Noelene for granted and started offering her support and resources.
Noelene went on to enter a love relationship where she Thrived and was loved as herself – expressing her own views, opinions and preferences.
Just like Noelene, by becoming “yourself” you will be an ‘attraction force’ and a ‘truth force’ that attracts and is attractive to your True Tribe. And you will let go of those who aren’t part of that tribe.
You will also come to understand this powerful truth – you will never accept a level of love and respect, less than the level that you have for yourself.
Number Four – Inner Self-Solidness
To recover from the horrors of narcissistic abuse requires letting go of false external sources you were trying to get to save you. Generally, that means getting past your fixation on the person that’s hurting you by trying to fix or change them.
That mission is one you have to fully reserve for yourself.
The Thriver Way to heal fully embraces letting go of trying to get outer salvation, turning inwards, self-partnering and becoming your own healer and saviour.
Greg said, “I used to think how people saw me, what I had, and how well I was performing was what would give me happiness and peace.”
I concur, I, like so many of us, used to think the same!
Reclaiming and healing your Soul after narcissistic abuse, brings forth an incredible connection with your Higher Power, meaning Source / God / Creation. This creates a monumental shift of “living life from the outside in” (always precarious) to “living life from the inside out” (a life that you can control).
This allows you to know and “be” at a level of peace, love and comfort that previously was “conditional” and sought from all the wrong places – False Sources, instead of directly through True Source.
After Thriver healing Greg reported this, “I know now how to self-soothe and manage my emotions. I no longer self-avoid of self-punish myself with booze and bad people. I can now sit with me and access my truth, solutions and wisdom.”
In many ways this shift is the most priceless of all that you will experience. You already ARE what you seek – when you know how to access it.
Number Five – Better Manifestation Ability
As a result of coming home to your true inner relationship with yourself and your Higher Power, you are integrating, rather than disintegrating.
By releasing trauma, blocks and limitations you partner with your True Self, creating a conscious alignment with your Higher Power (which always strives to grant you “more” of you). You start to open up to the flow of abundance, wellbeing and deservedness as a result of cleaning out what had been keeping you separated from your true desires.
I used to believe that manifestation occurred as a result of striving to visualise and feel what I wanted. Now I know a much more powerful truth – that what I want is already granted to me by the ever-loving abundant True Source, when I get my False Parts (traumas) out of the way.
Myself and so many Thrivers have found that manifestation becomes organic, inspirational and abundant when the traumas within our subconscious are cleared out.
Helene, like so many Thrivers, said, “At first I thought I was just releasing the traumas that were fuelling my PTSD and crippling fibromyalgia from narcissistic abuse. Little did I know that I was started to fill with joy, wellbeing, energy and ideas when these traumas left me. Now I have my own successful online art business that I always wanted and never believed was possible before this.”
In Conclusion
I always find it so inspirational to share with you the amazing news about your destination to your True Self and True Life after narcissistic abuse, and I hope that even if this feels like it is a million miles away from you right now, that it is possible for you.
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