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This first quote has probably been the most impactful.
I’ve written often about how I tend to live my life like a to-do list, and I’ve shared this quote before, but I’m sharing it again—it has really changed things for me.
And don’t get me wrong. I love my to-do lists. They help me stay organized and accountable and that really cuts down on the stress. We never run out of toothpaste. Bills are always paid on time, and I don’t have stacks of paperwork. Laundry has its own day. All of my daily living activities are scheduled in—from meal planning, to when I do my laundry, to car maintenance, to cleaning routines—everything. When my kids were young, my life used to be chaotic and messy, and I’d forever be dropping the ball. Always late. Bills unpaid. House a disaster. Learning what works for me in terms of handling my sh*t has been amazing.
But then I get lost in those lists and life becomes a never-ending series of chores. Where’s me in all of that?
Once I noticed this, I didn’t immediately throw everything to the wayside. I can’t. Stuff still needs to get done. But since I was so reliant on my lists, I decided to add things that spark a light in me. And I decided to make them special.
For example, taking time to read a new book wasn’t just fitting it in on the weekend—if I remembered. It was planning it like it was an event—I’d first make my space cozy with candles, snacks, and a super soft blanket, and then I’d turn on a piano stream to add to the ambiance. I’d ensure my time would be uninterrupted. My pets’ needs were all cared for ahead of time, and my kiddo knew it was “me time.” Suddenly, I had something more special to look forward to.
This next quote has been featured on Elephant often.
I’m kind of a pessimist. It’s easier for me to point out what’s going wrong than what’s going right. I don’t quite know why this is my default, but if you ever need someone to slightly ruin your day with bad news, I’m your girl.
And again, I get stuck in these ruts, and life’s pretty crappy when you’re always noticing the bad stuff. I was bumming myself out like it was my spiritual practice.
And then I read this quote. And I decided to try it. And after even just a day of noticing—hey, this fuzzy sweater is kinda nice, or hey, I’m safe and warm in my home on a blustery day, or hey, my ZZ plant grew a whole new stem out of nowhere—hello, serotonin. Life just feels so much better, and I hadn’t changed anything except to notice the good stuff.
And finally, this one.
“There’s something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you’re still alive.” ~ Margaret Atwood
Simply put: when things aren’t going my way, when I wish they were different, when I’m failing, when I’m regretful—when I’m struggling—it means I’m alive.
All of those yucky situations mean that I am feeling something, that I am still upright with my feet on the ground, and I still have an opportunity to begin again. This quote reminds me to take a deep breath and remember that living through the worst parts of life beats the alternative.
~
So why do I consider these “life-saving” practices?
Because they genuinely do save me, from a mental health perspective.
Each and every day, these are the things that will keep me from the edge, from feeling like life is just one big, miserable chore.
I have a fairly high ACE score of 7. After the birth of my second son, I struggled with severe postpartum depression, and as a result, I attempted to take my life when he was under two. And life hasn’t been easy in many other aspects. Because of all of that, I have had to manage my mental health closely. I understand what those deep, dark wells can feel like. And these are the little things that help to keep me out of them.
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