We experience numerous disappointments each and every day. Our expectations
go unmet, our plans are blocked by circumstance, our wishes go unfulfilled,
and we discover that our lives are subject to a myriad of forces beyond our
conscious control. In some cases, our response is powerful because we must
invest ourselves and our resources to overcome genuine hardship. In others,
our reactions are far more passionate than our circumstances likely warrant.
The tension that permeates our bodies and minds when we are late for an
event, interrupted at work, or sitting in traffic is not inappropriate, but
it can interfere with our well-being in profound ways. When we stop worrying
about relatively unimportant matters, we can be at peace and devote so much
more of ourselves to what is truly important.
The small frustrations and irritations wield such power over us because they
rob us of the illusion of control. But every problem is a potential
teacher--a confusing situation is an opportunity to practice mindfulness, and
difficult people provide us with opportunities to display compassion. There
is a natural human tendency to invest copious amounts of emotional energy in
minor dilemmas and frustrations in order to avoid confronting those more
complex issues that are largely outside the realm of our control. The
intensity of our response provides us with a temporary sense of personal
power that helps us cope with challenges that might otherwise overwhelm us.
But it is only when we let the little stuff go that we discover that the big
stuff is not really so devastating after all.
In the stress of a singularly tense incident, differentiating between an inconsequential
annoyance and a legitimate challenge can seem a monumental task. Ask yourself
whether the emotions you are feeling will be as vivid in a year, a day, or
even an hour. As focused as you are on this moment in time, your reward for
letting go of your emotional investment may be the very happiness and harmony
of being whose loss you are lamenting. Needless aggravation is seldom worth
the cost it exacts. You cannot distance yourself from life's inconsistencies,
irritations, and upheavals, but you can relinquish your desire for perfect
order and gain peace of mind in the process.
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