Narcissists are terrifying creatures. Literally just the thought of this person may bring on an anxiety attack, complete with feelings like shards of glass flooding through your veins.
The reason why is because the narcissist has already traumatised you – they have infiltrated your Being, like the Trojan horse getting through the gates and unleashing their nasty arsenal inside of you for maximum effect.
After being narcissistically abused, of course you are obsessing about “What will he or she do next?” You know they are capable of horrifying things – cruel discards, cheating on you with someone else, terrible smear campaigns, lashing out to get you dismissed by a boss, or discredited by your family and friends, or punishing you to the level where you will be tossed out without anything, maybe even losing the home and your kids.
Your heart is constantly pumping, you wonder how you will survive the next sucker-punch, and in amongst it all you still feel this weird connection to this person. You know they are a monster, but why can’t you just stop thinking about them, possibly still trying to get their love and approval, and even feeling like you might die without them?
And … just when things can’t feel any worse for you, you discover this person may do the thing that is your worst fear come true – turning someone you love against you, creating a whole new life with a new partner, or smashing you legally, trying to take the kids and property away from you, whilst convincing everyone, including authorities, that you are the crazy and abusive one.
These are all the ultimate betrayals that tear at the very fabric of your Inner Identity, coming from the very person that you believed loved you and that you could trust.
As if all of that is not bad enough … it can seem that narcissists are “terminator-like”, unstoppable people who can’t be reasoned with, will never see reason and seem hell-bent on destroying you.
I know it seems like this because I used to believe this too. That it would never stop, I would never escape, and that I could never be safe from him (or people like him) and that I would never recover.
These are all lies. They are part of the delusion that narcissists – Dark Souls – are. When you understand the delusion and take yourself out of it, not only will you make the narcissist powerless against you, you will recover and will create a true abuse-free life for real.
It’s my greatest joy today to help you understand how and why this is possible.
The great news is this – anyone can achieve this when they know how.
But … (here is the disclaimer) you have to be ready and willing to open your heart and mind to a different way of dealing with narcissists.
Let’s explore …
You Are In A Spiritual War
I’m going to tell you straight up what this war is about …
The narcissist’s battle position is this: “I am exploiting you as my Source of Life Force because I am parasitical and can’t provide myself with my own Source of Light / Life Force (Higher Power).”
Why won’t the narcissist plug into their own direct Life Force? Because the narcissist thinks he or she is God, and holds him or herself as, “I am separate and superior.”
This is absolute. You can’t change this or stop this – it just is.
Your powerless position against the narcissist is this: “I’m going to try to fix, change, convince or force you to see me as a blood and bone autonomous Being and make you want what I want – love, unity, kindness, teamwork and care.”
It’s impossible – it doesn’t work – the narcissist doesn’t want any of these things, and will only infiltrate, abuse, exploit and suck you dry. It’s all he or she CAN do.
It doesn’t matter what therapist you see, legal team you get, or how many people around you who you try to get support from, this leaves you traumatised, beaten up, sucked dry and Soul-destroyed.
Maybe you don’t want to repair things and fix this person or change them, and you really DO want to get away and stay away. However, if you haven’t realised, embraced and applied the spiritual graduation within this spiritual war – recovery will be devastatingly slow or even non-existent.
As Pema Chodron famously said, “nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.”
What does this mean in this case? It means the pain and ongoing trauma of narcissistic abuse does not lift until you have accepted, embraced and activated the spiritual lesson – which is this: The narcissist is not your Source – your Higher Power is your Source.
The narcissist is a False Self, they are not your Higher Power, they are not your Source / Soul connection that is the provider of your True Self and True Life.
This person was never in your life to grant you love, approval, security and survival – rather he or she is siphoning out your self-love, self-approval, and ability to experience security and survival. This person is not adding to these things, they are subtracting from these things. He or she is anti-life, a vampire sucking blood, a black hole in space sucking up celestial bodies – but still remaining as the living dead, or a black hole, no matter what is consumed and taken.
To win this war you need to let go of the False Source (the narcissist) and heal and connect to the Oneness of your True Source. That is what ends all of this pain and delivers you to the Life you were born to live – for good.
How Do Parasites Attach And Destroy One’s Health?
If you have ever done an internal parasite cleanse, the way that you flush them out and stop them using you as a host is to de-tox yourself from the heavy metals and acidic toxic waste that you have taken up in your body. By becoming more alkaline and healthier and having a more nutritious and organic lifestyle, it is much harder for parasites to take up residence inside you and mess with your health.
The parasite truth regarding narcissists is exactly the same. In this spiritual war, the toxicity is emotional. Your fear and pain are exactly the entrance points to the narcissist’s psychic tendrils attaching inside you, derailing you, trauma bonding you and keeping you trapped in their dark lair like a fly in a spider’s web.
You can’t acquiesce, reason, bargain or force your way out of this parasitically trapped entanglement logically, practically or with outside help – and I know oh how hard you have tried to (just as I and countless others have tried everything too!).
How To Take Your Power Back And Win This War
Your power is within and incredibly simple and absolute when you understand what is really going on here – all you need to do is release and remove all of the emotional toxicity within you that the narcissist can attach to.
Truly.
I mean it.
That is THE answer and your ONLY answer to get up and out of this for real.
The narcissist is a “no-self” there is nothing original and powerful about this person, they are an inversion of energy and can only use your pain and fear as the bullets to shoot you with.
How do we know this to be true?
Because miracles happen when the pain and the fear of what the narcissist is triggering within you – every fear, loss, heartbreak, feelings that you are going to die without this person, terror about your future, feelings of betrayals that you feel like you will never recover from, the brokenness that is overwhelming … everything that hurts inside of you … all … of … it … is shifted up and out.
Truly … I am not kidding you. I have seen it so many times. There have been too many ‘coincidences’ too many things fall into place for the person shifting out of pain and fear (internal trauma), and too many narcissists who have fallen over, given up, and failed …
Why is it property settlements are locked in battle for countless years and then the narcissist signs the agreement after the shift happens?
Why is it children who have not spoken to the non-narcissistic parent for decades make contact to reconnect out of the blue after the shift occurs?
Why is it people who have been recruited by the narcissist as flying monkeys against you, all of a sudden turn their back on the narcissist and seek allegiance with you when your pain is released on this?
Why is it the stalking, terror campaigns and threats stop and never recommence after the fear has been transformed and replaced with safe and empowered beliefs?
This is not a novel. It’s not a story I am writing you … it has been proven to me time and time again.
This is my life. This is the “natural” life of Thrivers in our wonderful community who are doing the work to shift out of pain and fear inside themselves.
When you graduate emotionally and vibrationally beyond a bully (who in truth is powerless to people who have solid Inner Beings who are not bluffed into handing emotional energy away) you will take your Soul, life and future back – for you and your children.
Your children, also learn from you, from who you are Being, not what you are saying. When you get it and live it – the spiritual lesson and graduation – your children organically follow.
Now you may be asking, “How do I do this?” “How do I NOT get triggered into fear and pain and every other traumatic and indescribably painful feeling that the narcissist has damaged me with?”
It’s the question that needs to be answered and I am so happy that I have the answer for you – the answer that not just changed my life and thousands of other people’s lives beyond description, but literally saved our lives.
It’s the inner work – the inner healing – not the head way. Rather, the Inner Identity way, deep inside you, emotionally, where real healing needs to take place.
Missing this necessity is why most healing from abuse doesn’t work. Trying to think, talk or research your way out of trauma doesn’t work, but true inner Quantum Healing does.
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