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When we really examine our fears about something, we sometimes notice that
the fear we have is not based on our own experience. Often, if we trace our
fear back to its source, we find that one of our parents may have handed it
down to us. For example, your mother or father may have had an intense fear
of lack of money, stemming from their own life experiences. If that fear was
not resolved by the time you came into the picture, chances are you inherited
it. Meanwhile, you may have no actual experience of lacking money, so being
fearful doesn't make sense, and it may even block you from doing certain
things you want to do.
Keeping in mind that your parents were only trying to protect you, and that
most of the errors in judgment they made were made with the best intentions,
it might be time to release this fear symbolically. You cannot resolve
someone else's fear for them, but you can decide to let go of it on your own
behalf. Whether your parents are still alive or not, it is best to do this in
a symbolic way, using visualization and, if you like, ritual. One simple
visualization involves inviting your parent to sit across from you in your
heart space and sharing your desire to move on from this fear, letting them
know that you will not carry it anymore. You may be surprised at the response
you get, because it's possible they will be proud of you, grateful, and proud
of your courage.
The more we do this deep inner work with our fears, the better we will be
able to parent our own children without burdening them with fears that don't
belong to them. Some of us will do as much of this work as we can before we
become parents, while others will be working on this even as our children
become adults. Either way, the effects will be felt, because once we break
our ties to the fears of the past, our children's ties to those fears are
greatly weakened, so it's important to remember that it's never too late.
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