When I ignore my need
for recovery I go into states of self-delusion, illusion, self-hate, magical
thinking, isolation, superiority, and inferiority. When I sit in the truth that
I need help and support, I humble myself to my higher power and seek recovery.
My higher power wants me to recover so that I can be what I am meant to be,
precious and free.
Steps are steps for a
reason. The only way out is through. I once went to a guitar shop and a guy
heard me play and asked me if I wanted to learn how to get better faster.
"Yes, of course," I said. He told me there are no shortcuts,
but if I really wanted to get better sooner, I had to go slower.
I get so angry
sometimes that I am not where I want to be, but in that moment, if I surrender
my will, I realize, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And it is all
part of the recovery journey. It's okay that I didn't play guitar today,
but tomorrow is a great day to figure out the chord to a new song.
Alison M. 2/24/22
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