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The right to make your own choices is a precious one. We grow when we have
the freedom to decide our own paths and determine what makes us happy. Yet
there are those who are inclined to try and control others. They may be
driven by insecurity, envy, fear, or the need for power. These people are
deeply critical of themselves in their own minds, and underlying that
critical nature is unhappiness. Their need to feel sure-footed and secure is
quenched by controlling those around them, whether they are friends,
colleagues, or even pets. However, nearly everyone has found themselves
imposing their will upon others at one time or another.
Trying to impose your will on others can be tempting for many reasons. You
may feel that your way is the best way or that you have a keener insight into
the direction their life should be taking. But, in imposing your will, you
are indirectly saying, "I want to control you." Thus, even when you
have the best of intentions, others may end up resenting you for your
actions. It is always helpful to remember that it is possible to influence
people and change their behavior through education or example without imposing
your will on them.
If you've caught yourself being a bit bossy on a regular basis, make a note
of it. Write down what the situation was and why you acted the way you did.
You may have pushed a friend to try something new, because deep inside you
wanted to try it yourself but were feeling hesitant. Or you may be unjustly
interfering with work teammates because you aren't sure of their abilities.
Next, make an effort to understand and accept their preferences and ways of
doing things. It can feel natural to impose your will when you feel that you
"know best." But there is a freedom to trusting others to find
their own methods and joys, even when they might differ from yours. Sometimes
the best course of action is to step back and relinquish control. You may, in
doing so, see everything from a different point of view.
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