Experience

 

"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Oscar Wilde Oscar was being a little naughty with this statement. But then again, naughtiness came easily to Oscar! We do learn from our mistakes.Often in my recovery meetings I share my story and tell some of the mistakes and mishaps in my life, and that usually there is a learning curve associated with these incidents. In the shadow of my life I discover the light! Also my experience is fed by the stories and incidents that other...

On this day of your life

 

I believe God wants you to know ...   ... that all that Life asks is that you move through Life with a reverence for Life.   Yet this reverence for Life must be displayed in all things. Even in the littlest things. Perhaps especially so. For instance, if you choose to consume animals, do you limit your purchases of flesh to cook to only those suppliers who treat animals humanely?   Do you even know who those suppliers are? Does this matter to you? How you treat other Life Forms does matter. It says something about how you want Life to be.  You see, we are creating all of this. All of this.

The Secret of Surrender (OM)

 

Surrender should be seen as a great strength and comes when we let go of trying to attain the impossible. Most of us were raised and live in a culture that emphasizes the ideals of independence and control. The general idea is that we are on our own and we don’t need any help from anyone else, and if we are really successful it’s because we are in complete control. However, true lasting success comes only with surrender, which is the opposite of control. We cannot accomplish anything truly great on our own, without any help, and the idea that we can is an illusion that causes most of us a great deal of suffering. Surrender comes when we see that illusion and let go of trying to attain the impossible. Surrender can then be seen as a great strength rather than a weakness. Even small moments of surrender are powerful indicators of how different our lives could be if we would only let go. We’ve all had the experience of extending huge amounts of effort and energy to reach a particular goal only to realize that we can’t make it happen after all. At the moment of letting go, realizing that we need to ask for help or simply release our agenda entirely, a profound feeling of relief may rush over us. This warm, open sensation is the essence of surrender, and if we didn’t feel that we didn’t really let go. But it is never too late to let go, even of things in the past that didn’t work out the way we wanted them to, because surrender is always an option in every moment of our lives. When we finally do surrender, our goals actually become possible, because the act of surrender is, in essence, asking for the help we need. This help may come in the form of other human beings or unseen helpers such as angels or inner guides. It may also come in the form of shifting circumstances, the small miracles that we call grace.

The Seven “Buddhist” “Things” we need to live a Good Life.

 

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Buddhism’s Seven Things (I’m missing three) we need in our Daily Life. ~ Waylon

One of the many helpful Buddhist teachings I learned when I was young was about this simple, basic, yet profound notion of the “Seven Aryan Riches” that we all need it order to live a good, functional life of benefit.

Over the last year, I’ve been rather painfully missing two or three of these. Three, I guess. So they’ve been a helpful, present reminder that I need to work on these missing foundational pieces of my daily life.

The Seven Aryan Riches present in a Happy Life.

Forget the impressive car or big house. Here’s the 7 Riches the Buddha taught that are Vital to a Happy Life:

Note: the seven “Aryan” riches have nothing to do with blonde hair or blue eyes. In fact, the Aryans were Indian, and it was only when the Nazis adopted some Eastern terms (and one symbol in particular) that any of these words became tainted. In fact, growing up in my Buddhist community, swastikas were everywhere (only of course they spun the opposite direction, generally, from the Nazi’s symbol).

Anyways: one thing, growing up, we studied were the Seven Aryan Riches. These are the elements—minister, elephant, king or queen, etc.—that you need to have a successful, simple life.

I thought of these again last night, when my home’s water pipes busted, and I needed a plumber, and realized I didn’t know of a great dependable and responsible one. lt’s good to have such “Riches” in your life.

I can’t seem to find what I studied when I was young, probably teachings via Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, but here’s an excerpt of some info I found online:

The Seven Aryan Riches

…[these are] old Indian notions, adopted by the Buddhists. These are worldly attributes of dignity/success, or manifestations of nobility and ‘higher realm’ karma in the human situation. Good commentaries, which are rare, explain how the development of such dignities is linked to spiritual principles and developments, but they embrace [notion of] sane materialism. This sort of approach was also behind many of the techniques of rulership used by chakravartins (Dharma Kings) such as Ashoka. On their shrines would be icons of those seven aryan riches which…go back a long way before even formal hinduism.

…From a quick web search I found:

“Seven Jewels of Royal Power (T. rgyal-srid rin-chen sna-bdun, Skt. saptaratna) are the accessories of a universal monarch (T. khor-los bsgyur-bai rgyal-po, Skt. chakravartin). They represent the accoutrements that a king must possess in order to stay in power.

1. The precious partner (T. btsun-mo, Skt. raniratna)- who completes the poles where the chakravartin is the masculine aspect, and she the feminine. Those working to abandon negative mental states regard her as mother or sister. Her beauty and love for her husband are representative of the radiating, piercing joy of the Buddha’s enlightenment.

2. The precious general (T. dmag-dpon rinpoche, Skt. senapatiratna) symbolizes the wrathful power to overcome enemies.

3. The precious horse (T. rta-mchog rinpoche, Skt. asvaratna) serves as the chakravartin’s personal mount and shares similarities with the lung ta referred to earlier, both in appearance and in the ability to travel among the clouds. Its qualities mirror the Buddha’s abandonment of, or “rising above”, the cares of worldly existence.

4. The precious jewel (T. nor-bu rinpoche, Skt. maniratna), which is depicted on the back of the precious horse and separately in the upper left corner, deals with the themes of wealth and unfolding (power and possibility). The jewel is said to aid the chakravartin in his ability to see all things. In the same way, a Buddha can perceive all things; recognizing the manifold connections between all events, the relentless chain of cause and effect, and the nature of compounded existence.

5. The precious minister or householder (T. blon-po rinpoche, Skt. parinayakaratna) represent two different aspects of the rule of the chakravartin which are closely related. The minister aids the chakravartin in carrying out his commands expeditiously, while the householder provides the very basic support, given with devotion, without which the chakravartin would be unable to rule. The knowledge of the Buddha, like the minister, is always present to him who has realized it, allowing him to cut through the bonds of ignorance. While the householder represents the support of the lay community, without which the monastic community could not continue. Each community playing its part, the lay providing physical sustenance, and the monastic, the sustenance of the Dharma.

6. The precious elephant (T. glang-po rinpoche, Skt. hastiratna) The elephant is a symbol of both strength and the untamed mind in Buddhism. The precious elephant represents the strength of one’s mind tamed, through Buddhist practice. Exhibiting noble gentleness, the precious elephant serves as a symbol of the calm majesty possessed by one who is on the path. Specifically, he embodies the boundless powers of the Buddha which are miraculous aspiration, effort, intention, and analysis.

7. The precious wheel (T. khor-lo rinpoche, Skt. chakraratna), which is depicted both on the back of the precious elephant and separately in the upper left corner below the precious jewel, is a symbol of motion and power, representing the ability to “roll over” all obstacles. In Buddhism it symbolizes the truth and power of the noble path as realized and taught by the Buddha to deliver all from suffering. For just as the chakravartin has conquered the world, so the Buddha has overcome the defilements with the aid of the Dharma.”

This is a highly buddhistic, and somewhat arcane, commentary from within the later Tibetan monastic tradition. Older versions are far more secular, but such commentaries would be hard to find. Sometimes they are split into the inner spiritual practices/attributes and then the outer results/manifestations as in :

faith, discipline, generosity, learning, decency, modesty and wisdom leading to nobility, good physical appearance, opulence, prajna/insight, splendidness, without sickness and longevity.

Although the Taoist/Chinese cultures did not use these classifications (I don’t think), their approach has always put together spiritual development with outer (or material) manifestation, which the Confucian development evidences. (An example today is their desire to keep their hair black well into old age, which denotes strong life force and can only result from upright living. To this day, a statesman with grey hair would be distrusted by many as someone who has not managed to lead a virtuous life and therefore whose health/vitality has run down and therefore who cannot serve as a great leader.)

Of course you are coming from the Western lineages where I assume there is also plenty of background, but in any case, this is a very interesting topic. It would be nice to trace some of the chivalric traditions in Europe to their roots – with no doubts quite a few links to Middle Eastern and Asian notions of rulership, royalty, nobility etc. – as well as examine their interface with Christian theology and practice. It would also be good to penetrate into why such things have become culturally irrelevant. I think Nergol’s objections are on the money even if you and he are not on the same page with this exactly.

There is no reason why sane spiritual development and material well-being should be separated. By ridding ourselves of royalty – in most cases for good reasons since corruption was pandemic – we also lost certain profound binding factors and developmental disciplines that informed all orders of society, including the religious ones. That also is a huge topic and one that is very hard to discuss in today’s democratic-secular context.

The buddhist tradition as usually portrayed (i.e. principally from established monastic traditions) for example, presupposes some form of sane, if not enlightened, governance and social order. Without it, the material base for a truly vibrant spiritual tradition is undermined, which is why some contemporary teachers – especially from Tibet – are emphasising the ‘warrior traditions’ as some call them, or the chakravartin approaches of yore, even those these have remained somewhat dormant for over a millenium and transmitted mainly in the context of leadership training within spiritual communities. That said, I believe that most Asian monarchs were trained in such approaches, either formally or from within cultural and family forms, so they never truly went away until quite recently.

These sorts of things do not depend upon structured dogmas and are part of the basic aspirations and make-up of all human beings. Indeed, I think it is fair to say that any culture which does not value nobility as the manifestation of authentic virtue is in deep doo doo.

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Waylon Lewis  |  Contribution: 1,153,700

Waylon Lewis, founder of Elephant Journal & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat.”   Voted #1 in U.S. … Read full bio

Wisdom Quote

 

Greet The Day

 

IT'S NOT ALWAYS A WALK IN THE PARK, BUT IT'S NEVER DULL. I went to the other extreme in early sobriety, always having to make the day be a certain way. And then I figured out that being open and curious and spontaneous was a pretty fun way to go through life. We don't always have to work so hard to shape and direct the day. Instead, greet the day with curiosity, fully open to what it might bring. My life in addiction was very routine: get up, get high, try to make it through the day without...

The Mysterious Power Of Narcissists

 How do narcissists pull it off?

You may meet one and every morsel of your being recoils. Yet later you feel yourself drawn to, and even attracted to, this person.

Have you heard the story of the Alabama corrections officer who fell in love with a narcissistic inmate and helped plan his escape? Maybe you know of psychologists who start relationships with diagnosed narcissists – even their clients.

What IS this about?

Today I want to share with you exactly what it is…

 

Being Mesmerised by a Narcissist

It’s very true, narcissists are charming.

They have a certain energy that is captivating – intoxicating even. They can appear so vulnerable, sweet, enchanting, exciting, courageous and downright sexy, all wrapped into one person.

Yet, I promise you this… many of us who used to fawn at a narcissist’s feet (or at least be drawn to them in some way) now feel revulsion around these people. They feel ‘off’ instead of ‘alluring’.

Please know I am not criticising you in any way if you are still going through the very painful feelings of being ‘soul-captured’ by one of these creatures! Have faith that one day you will get to where we are!

I promise you, in this article I will explain the mysterious power of narcissists to you, in a deeper way that helps you realise you are not going mad and there isn’t something horribly wrong with you.

In fact, what you are going through is completely normal considering the power and validity of this connection that you have with a narcissist. And there is a REAL purpose in this.

I am going to go into depth about that soon.

Just like my previous self, my colleagues, friends, clients and students who are now free from narcissists, you may be BAMBOOZLED.  Your situation is untenable and unliveable.  This person is completely and utterly destructive to your life-force, health and possessions. So why does none of this count, and why do you still feel like you can’t live without this person?

Read on…

 

Narcissists are Anti-Source and Anti-Life

I’m just going to say it how it is – narcissists are psychic vampires. They are emotional predators, who are not connected to True Source (their Higher Self).

Source equals Life-force. It’s that simple; iit’s the energy that creates everything you see.

Therefore, without Source, narcissists require other people’s emotional energy in order to sustain themselves, just like mythical vampires require human blood to escape being dead.

You’ve probably had the experience of feeling literally exhausted and lifeless after spending time with someone – even over the phone. There is a very good reason for this.

You are a fractal of Source / God / Creation. Unlike the narcissist – who has sold their soul by crossing the line into total darkness and purposefully inhumane acts – you are a pathway to Life-force. That is the energy that the narcissist seeks to feed upon to sustain him or herself.

How do they suck your Life-force?

Simply by interacting with you and using your attention to connect themselves to you. The more emotion you have involved in this interaction, the more Life-force this person can steal from you.

This is going on at a deep emotional, unconscious level – it is NOT logical. Trying to logically solve a spiritual, energetic quandary such as narcissistic abuse with thinking, talking and researching is like tuning into a radio station and hoping to get reception on your TV.

 

How Do Narcissists ‘Get In’?

Narcissists are experts at working out how to appear as a ‘salvation’ to someone. They hit all the hot emotional buttons to infiltrate, enmesh and then start extracting Life-force, and everything else they can get their hands on.

If you are feeling empty of love, approval, security or survival, you are ripe for the picking. Narcissists energetically feel people very succinctly. This is a skill these emotional parasites have honed, as a necessity to survive.

Here is a powerful truth that people and teachers wishing to hang on to the ‘victim narrative’ don’t want to hear or speak about. You are only susceptible to being manipulated, mined and harvested by a narcissist if your own connection to Source is NOT solid.

If you are connected to True Source (in relationship with your own Higher Power) these False Sources are Not Your Reality. They simply do not get your attention.

A connection to your own Higher Power can be purposefully created by doing the inner work to release the traumas that the narcissist triggers forth. These inner spaces can then be filled with Source Light – and my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) is an effective process to do this.

Then you will emerge feeling inwardly solid, self-generative, full and calmly peaceful, with the ability to show up authentically.

Narcissists quickly recognise people like this. They know they will not hand over their power, make rash decisions or get involved with another without taking their time to sensibly assess the suitability of this person. Also, authentically connected people are guided by the voice of Source which is a firm “yuck” about narcissists!

But, of course, until awakening this is NOT the majority of humankind. We have been trained to outer-seek our salvation through people, objects and being attached to results – rather than the focussing on our own Beingness.

Narcissists can target us until we develop beyond an ‘ordinary’ human life into an ‘extraordinary’ human life: knowing we are at One with Source, having a spirit-filled and spirit-led existence whilst being in a physical body.

Knowing that we are literally One with the Power that creates Universes, and are made from the same stuff. This is not hubris, it is humble energetic reality.

 

The Truth – The Spiritual War

Now let’s go back to these circumstances, of being enmeshed with a narcissist DESPITE all the insanely obvious red-flags.

You know the narcissist has cheated on people before you, yet you’ve convinced yourself that you will change this person. Even after you catch the narcissist cheating on you!

The jail warden who planned to escape with the criminal believed a faux story of innocence. But why THIS inmate when she had been on the job 10 years and heard it all before?

Why do you keep going back to THIS person, even though previously you would never have tolerated such terrible behaviour and the destruction of Self? Yet NOW you feel powerless to stop it?

People say it is because “We have kids and property and businesses together”. Yes these are factors, but I promise you that I have seen people with NONE of these things have the identical struggle. I’ve also seen people with ALL of those things leave narcissistic relationships in empowered ways once they shift their Inner Being out of trauma and back to a Source-filled Self.

Something much more profound is going on. It’s completely mysterious until you awaken to it.
.
With narcissistic abuse, not only do you have heart-break, unresolved feelings of betrayal, devastation and loss, but you also feel like you have been soul infected, infiltrated, taken over and possessed.

It is the most soul-snatching feeling of someone hijacking your mind, emotions and dreams. They are wedged in your life experience on repeat by association to things everywhere.

It’s soul-haunting.

It’s like black ink and shards of glass flooding your body and veins.

It takes everything you have to merely survive these feelings.

In order to break free and take your soul and life-force back from this energetic predator, your healing needs to take place at the level of your emotional soul and spirit – because the narcissist is interacting with you at this level.

You are in a spiritual war fighting for your soul.

It’s literally a battle between ‘Light’ and ‘Dark’.

Will you return your soul home to its True State – Source – which is your Higher Power?

Or does the Dark Overlord – the narcissistic False Self – take your soul instead?

By waking up, you can decide.

 

Soul Contracts

I’d like you to open your mind to this possibility.

What if this person in your life was a soul contract?

What if some unconscious part of your spirit (the REAL you) created this ‘interaction’ for some Higher Reason?

Upon meeting a narcissist, often there are feelings of familiarity, good and bad. Many people have reported they felt uneasy, sensed this person’s ‘darkness’, or knew this person was ‘dangerous’ because of being warned by others.

Yet somehow events conspire and you find yourself feeling the exact opposite way towards them. It could be so intense you think “You are exactly the person I’ve been waiting for”.

This, I believe, is the absolute truth, but not in the way we initially believe.

Many years ago, when I was going through the devastating and soul shattering breakdown of my marriage to a narcissist, I read a book by Barbara DeAngelis where she talked about soul contracts. She spoke of a ‘soul vision’, discussing her potential earth growth with her spiritual guides.

She said something like, “I wish to learn self-love and value myself.” A soul appeared and said he could help her. She asked “How?” He said “I will meet you in this lifetime, you will be drawn to me, fall in love, and love me more than life itself. I will hurt and abuse you until you let go of me, and return home to your own Source of love and power. I will not stop until you do.”

As a soul she was overjoyed, and was thrilled to embark on this lifetime.

Of course, for a time she forgot. We all do in our human amnesia. We forget that as a fractal of Source, as a Divine Creator made in the image and likeness of Creation itself, that ‘another’ is NOT our Source.

When we are in Oneness with our Higher Self – our true essence – we already are love, fullness, calm and personal truth. From this place will simply cannot and will not tolerate narcissistic abuse.

Back to the point – narcissists get in. They are MEANT to get in.

Then, despite all the warning signs, traumas, disappointments and devastations that we encounter with them, we struggle to let go. We try to FORCE them to be our Source of love, approval, security or survival.

Because we are not partnered with Source, the Highest Contextual Field or All That Is yet.

If you had a narcissistic parent or a family member, as a child you were powerless to let go, take the necessary soul-graduation and heal from this painful human co-dependency. But as an adult, even if this abuse is all you have known, you certainty can.

Logically, we may assume adults have a much easier time letting go of other narcissistic adults, but I assure you that this is not the case. Our wounded inner child causes us to feel small, dependent and unlovable. We hand away our power by assigning another specific adult as our Source, because of feeling like a powerless child on the inside.

In my humble opinion, it usually isn’t until Quantum Inner Healing Shifts (NARP) that we can feel strong, empowered, safe and ‘adult’ inside. Parents and other adults are not there to protect us, yet Source has our back and Life-force eternally.

 

In Conclusion

Phew – I hope today has explained a lot!

I invite you to open your mind and consciousness to this Higher Level of understanding in order to effectively get out of this emotional prison that is NOT your True Self, True Life or the way your Higher Self intended you to live.

This is why it feels so wrong and terrible!

NARP is my core suggestion to you – always – to come back home.

It’s how I, and countless others, reversed narcissistic trauma and agony and finally claimed more freedom and liberation than we had experienced in our entire life – even before abuse.

NUGGETS OF WISDOM - 893

 

• ·       "The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crises, maintain their neutrality." - Dante Alighieri

  ·       “The essence of bravery is being without self-deception.” ~ Pema Chodron

  ·       “Never on all the worlds of this universe, in the life of any one mortal, did God ever become such a living reality as in the human experience of Jesus of Nazareth.”

  ·       The fundamental delusion — there is something out there that will make me happy and fulfilled forever. - Naval Ravikant

  ·       You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. - Franklin Delano Roosevelt

  ·       “The universes of time and space are gradual in development; the progression of life—terrestrial or celestial—is neither arbitrary nor magical. Cosmic evolution may not always be understandable (predictable), but it is strictly nonaccidental.”

  ·       If buying stuff hasn’t made you happy, maybe getting rid of it will. - Joshua Becker

  ·       “The religion of living experience finds no difficulty in keeping ahead of all ... social developments and economic upheavals, amid which it ever functions as a moral stabilizer, social guide, and spiritual pilot.”

  ·       (On whether his life was a success): Neither on my deathbed nor before will I ask myself such a question. Nature is not an engineer or a contractor, and I myself am a part of Nature. - Albert Einstein

  ·       “Mechanists—humanists—tend to drift with the material currents. Idealists and spiritists dare to use their oars with intelligence and vigor in order to modify the apparently purely material course of the energy streams.”