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Constant
apologizing can be a sign that you are not feeling that you have much
self-worth. |
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Many people suffer from the tendency to
apologize all the time. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention
that keeps interactions between people polite, and in that way, it can be
very helpful. On the other hand, if we find ourselves apologizing for
everything, it might be time to look at why we feel compelled to say “I’m
sorry” so often. Ultimately, saying you’re sorry is saying that you are
responsible for something that has gone wrong in the situation. Whether it’s
negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or
reaching for what you want, there are times when sorry is the right thing to
say. But there are other times when “excuse me” is more accurate. Sometimes saying you’re sorry is like
saying that the other person in the equation has more of a right to be here
than you do. Of course, it’s true that using the word sorry can simply be an
innocuous way of defusing tension. However, if you find that you say sorry
all the time, you might want to look a little deeper and see where in your
psyche that might be coming from. If it’s a pattern, breaking it may simply
take some awareness and practice. The first step is observing yourself each
time you say it — without being hard on yourself about it. Throughout your
day, simply notice when you apologize. At first, you might be surprised to
see that you do it even more than you realized. After a day or two of simply
observing, try to tune in to what it is you are feeling right before you say
it. You might feel threatened, embarrassed, intensely anxious, or a variety
of other feelings. Over time, try to stop yourself before the words come out
and just be with the feeling that’s there. You may recognize it as one from
your childhood, one that’s been with you for a long time. The more you are
able to see it, the freer you will be not to be sorry all the time. |
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