Once upon a time there was a young man who loved to draw. He had big dreams of drawing comic strips for newspapers and would practice day in and day out. He finally got his first big job at a local newspaper and was thrilled! His dream came true! Or so he thought. A few months later he was unceremoniously fired for lacking what his editors called, “creative imagination.” He took it on the chin and kept up. If he couldn’t be hired by a company, he’d just have to make his own! He raised money and started up his own business, a little animation studio called Laugh-O-Gram Films. Here he could make all of his visions come to life without fear of being fired. Or so he thought. His distributor went out of business and, as a result, so did he.
Now he was back at square one, out of money, and deep in debt. He had to leave his Kansas hometown and set out for the only place he was bound to find a creative job: Hollywood. His animations were rejected over 300 times and even after his first one was bought, he was still financially limited. With the help of his brother, he went on to start another company, only to have his top employee poached from him. He decided to leave little cartoons behind and be the first to make a full-length animated film. It premiered to great success! But his next three films absolutely tanked and soon after, all of his animators went on strike.
I’m sure by now you’ve guessed who this young man is. It’s Walt Disney. A name known around the entire world and a company that is among the ranks of the most powerful. Yet his path was paved with only a few moments of success amidst a lot of hard work and a long, long, long list of failures and challenges. Imagine what would have happened if he had given up the first, seventh, even the twentieth time?
What if Failure Isn’t Failure?
Fear of failure is something most of us know intimately. It can show up as resistance, overthinking, perfectionism. It convinces us to wait until conditions are “just right,” to avoid risk, to plan every possible outcome before we even begin. And while this might feel like being practical it’s limiting and usually leads to stagnation and exhaustion. But what if we looked at Walt Disney’s path, for example, and instead of counting failures versus successes, we looked at how the failures created the successes?
The kabbalists teach that we come into this world to grow—to transform into a more elevated version of ourselves, to reveal our potential and align our lives with our purpose. And growth, by its very nature, requires discomfort. When we stretch, when we take risks, when we challenge our own limitations, we will inevitably encounter moments that are difficult. In other words, if you are growing, failure is nothing more than evidence that you are on the path to success.
Let’s Reframe Past Failures as Growth
Many of us carry past experiences that still feel disappointing—moments we wish we could redo, decisions we regret, outcomes that didn’t match our expectations. These memories shape how we show up today, often reinforcing fear loops. Because if we are unaware of our past we will unconsciously make choices in the present based on fear. Luckily, we can tell new stories anytime. Here are a few ways:
Identify how failure redirected you
Almost every setback is actually a course correction. Ask yourself: Where did this lead me? What path did it close and what path did it open? You may find that what felt like an ending was actually a beginning. Rejection was protection. A certain delay gave you time to make necessary adjustments.
Separate the event from your identity
A failed outcome does not mean you are a failure. This sounds simple, but it’s a distinction many of us blur. Practice describing the situation without making it about you. For example: “that project didn’t work out” instead of “I’m just not capable.”
Look for the hidden blessing
This can be a little harder but it’s the most transformative. Even our most painful experiences can contain something positive, even if it’s just a renewed strength or a path of healing. When we are willing to look for it, we begin to see that our losses and failures are more nuanced than we might think.
If You’re in The Midst of Failure Now…
Taking account of our past experiences is an essential step but what about if we’re in the midst of failure right now? The tools are similar but understandably more immediate. If you’re coming off the heels of a disappointment or are feeling the fear of failure intensely, give these a try:
Welcome discomfort as part of growth
First and foremost, when something feels uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean something is wrong—it often just means you’re doing something new. Growth rarely feels like confidence in the beginning. It often feels like doubt, frustration, or even fatigue. Notice it, give it a little recognition, and continue on!
Focus on movement, not perfection
Perfectionism is usually control in disguise. Instead of aiming to get everything right, trying to learn everything before you start, or getting mired in details just aim to keep going. Action creates progress; overthinking creates delay.
Create a “recovery plan,” not a “contingency plan”
Instead of looking to guarantee an outcome, shift your energy to resilience. Trust that if something doesn’t go as planned, you will be able to respond, adapt, and learn. This builds confidence in yourself, not just in the outcome. And be sure to celebrate, no matter what.
There is a massive cost to avoiding failure. When we choose safety over growth again and again, we may avert the pain of failure but we also significantly limit our potential. We don’t stretch. We don’t evolve. We don’t discover what we are truly capable of. Yet, when failure is approached with curiosity and trust in our process, it becomes one of the most powerful allies we have for transformation. It refines and strengthens us and brings us another step (sometimes multiple steps!) closer to who we are meant to become.
And remember: It’s only failure if you fail to learn something from it.
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