Beware of Narcissists In Positions Of Authority

 Narcissists like the limelight. Many work their way up the rungs into positions of authority.

Some of you have asked about spiritual narcissists and narcissists in the workplace. Today’s article, “Beware of narcissists in positions of authority” covers these two types, as well as other narcissists who fit into this category.

The classic narcissist is an overt personality type, meaning they appear to be confident and powerful. They may be ambitious and very focused to reach a position whereby they have power, dominion, and control over others.

This is the stuff of potent narcissistic supply – influence, acclaim, adoration and notoriety. It grants access to money, power, prestige, the calling on favours and privileges, as well as the pastimes and indulgences that narcissists like to immerse themselves in.

Narcissistic types are rewarded in society. They stand out. They are often preferred and chosen. In a more nefarious sense they can be “used” by others to accelerate their own power and success.

Being as amoral as narcissists are and living by the premise that, “the end justify the means” they can also, at high levels, be bribed and paid off, accelerating their own and other people’s success.

Let’s be very clear, at an everyday level, an authoritarian narcissist could be anyone in your life who you believe has more knowledge, power, influence or information than you do. This could literally be anyone you are dealing with – such as a parent, teacher, priest, doctor, therapist, lawyer or government official.

Maybe this is also your spouse, lover, family member or friend who you believe is more intellectual, studied, smarter or confident than you are.

Ideally, this person is supportive and a mentor, lover, protector or healer of you, because they have your best interests at heart and possess a solid, honest character.

But what if they don’t and aren’t?

Let’s go deeper into this …

 

Our Programming To Trust Authorities

Human programming has been about trusting people in authority. We may believe that those with letters and titles after their name, or who are awarded positions, or even wear expensive suits have more authority than others.

We are told that certain systems and structures are credible, reliable and honest. You are told not to distrust them. You may be shamed for stepping out of the status quo.

As children questioning our parents, we were told we didn’t know better and had to accept their authority even if, on the inside, we knew something didn’t add up. This could have been as simple as telling us there was nothing going on. Yet, we heard the fight and we knew something was off.

We discovered this extremely painfully with narcissists. We questioned the narcissist. He or she told us that we had it wrong, that they weren’t doing what we felt in our gut, that we were imagining things.

Because you were programmed to believe that when people are looking you in the eye they are telling you the truth, you believed their words. You knew the real actions and irregularities were questionable, yet you defaulted back to your programming of, “believing what other people say to you.”

Let’s look at why we did this …

 

Why Are We Not Our Own Authority?

After experiencing narcissistic abuse in my life, I realised that NOT being my own authority, and blindly believing in the goodwill of people, nearly cost me my life.

Once upon a time, I could not comprehend that evil exists, that there are people who are out for themselves at other people’s expense, and there are victims to these people every single day.

Now, as a result of being previously smashed by unscrupulous people, I have changed. It doesn’t mean I am paranoid, fearful or a conspiracy theorist.

Instead, it means I am a realist, who rather than handing my power blindly away to others and allowing them have authority over my life, I make it a mission to have my own.

This personal turnaround started with two simple shifts in perception …

• Diligently noting the real-life evidence of events and actions as they unfold (NOT what is being said) … and
• Noticing how it FEELS inside of me.

In the past I never put nearly enough focus of these things. Now I do, and have for some years.

However, two years ago, I had a slip up again. I needed construction work done on one of my properties. I was busy and had a lot on my plate. Upon meeting a contractor and hearing what I wanted to, I hired him.

Here is the thing … 1) I didn’t do my due diligence. I did NOT investigate the real-life performance of this person, and 2) My gut (despite his “incredible” words of “knowledge” and “diligence”) didn’t feel right, and I ignored this.

I paid the price. He was a narcissist. He was manipulative and his work was terrible.

It was a fight to get the work done, and get out of the project intact. It cost me substantial money, time and angst.

This is what I know now with all of my Being, as a result of my own life, this incredible community and observing humankind with fascination – we are distracted. We are too busy. We are emotionally and practically lazy. We are not in touch with ourselves. We let so many things outside of ourselves define us. We let other people take charge of our lives – on micro (personal) and macro (public) levels.

By not taking control and responsibility for our lives, we lose our own authority over them on multiple levels.

We have chosen to believe the lover who says, “I love you like no other” whilst their actions feel like emotional assaults and not love at all.

We trusted the doctor saying, “you need this” rather than turning inwards to trust and connect with ourselves and seek other answers, and …

We handed over our decision-making power and rights to larger authorities rather than being observant to see if their intentions bear any resemblance to our own.

We are programmed to trust, accept and believe others – even when what is happening feels incredibly WRONG inside of us. And even when the outer evidence SCREAMS how wrong it is.

Now here is the kicker question, which I had to get really honest about with myself. I hope it can be helpful for you too …

“Why are we continually believing certain outer authorities when things are GETTING WORSE?”

Such as …

When the information keeps changing?

When the promises don’t hold up?

When the goalposts keep moving?

When we are kept chasing our tail with no relief?

Isn’t it time to course correct if the abuse from the lover is getting worse, the illness more severe, the public information even more painful and catastrophic?

How do we stop going along and course correct?

By ceasing assigning other people as our authority of love, health, freedom, decisions, directions, and Life Force and become that for ourselves.

 

The Cognitive Dissonance When Handing Our Power Away

It’s not hard to be misled when we are busy, distracted and not looking at the real-life evidence or trusting our gut and following up on it.

The truth is this – it’s much harder to admit that you have been deceived than to actually be deceived.

When the writing was on the wall that the man I married was a pathological liar, a criminal, cruelly abusive and absolutely didn’t love me or care for me, I didn’t want to believe it.

I looked the other way. I told myself stories. I discredited people who came forward with evidence and even vehemently opposed them.

Why did I do this, rather than face the truth?

Because the truth was too shocking initially for me to accept.

It meant the life I wanted was a lie. It meant rather than moving forward into happiness, safety, truth, love and care (all the things I dearly wanted) I was headed instead into trauma, danger, loss and personal destruction.

It meant my WORST possible fears were REAL.

I see the same with so many other people who are being psychopathically abused.

And, like my previous self, I see how we can wrap our identity around other people and their authority. We want to believe their lies. We want them to take care of us and protect us. It makes us feel more secure and safer than if they don’t.

Yet, we aren’t safe unless we fully face the truth and take responsibility for ourselves. We have to take control of the information, decisions and directions for our own life.

This is scary. It can be terrifying. It means that we can’t be the “inner child” hoping an “outer adult” is looking after us. It means we can’t just be distracted, busy, disinterested, uninformed and not participating in the vital aspects of our life anymore.

It means we have to grow up. FAST.

It also means we must be humble. Admit we were wrong. Eat humble pie. Let other people judge us. Be vulnerable. Even say to other people, “You tried to warn me and I didn’t listen. I’m sorry, you were right.”

It’s huge … massive for us.

 

Being Teachable, Open And Flexible

Having an open mind is as life-saving as is having an open parachute – it stops you from hurtling towards your own demise.

With one of the narcissists in my life, I initially believed he was the faithful type and monogamous. Then his ex-girlfriend contacted me, telling me that he was still having sex with her and that she had the conversational proof on her phone.

I’d just met him. I was in the loved-up glow of the honeymoon period. I dismissed her. I decided she was lying. I refused to meet her and chose to accept his version of her being a lunatic, because I didn’t want to smash my illusion of truth.

Where I went wrong was obvious – I refused to open my mind and consider investigating new emerging information that was contrary to the information that I had originally parked as my reality.

Having a stubborn and closed mind cost me dearly. I continued with the relationship. I enmeshed my resources. I went through terrible trauma and lost out on multiple levels. Sure enough, in the end, I had no choice other than to accept the hard truth of his continued lies and adulterous behaviour. I could have avoided great pain, lost time and destruction had I accepted this at the first instance.

I’ve learned. I’ve changed. Now I know I would much rather suffer the shock of the truth than the real-life effects of not being open to receiving it.

Narcissists prey on our stubborn clinging to “the version we want”. It makes it easy for them to lie to us, make false promises, tell us what we want to hear, keep abusing us and effectively smear other people who try to warn us against them.

They use our own human nature against us as one of their most powerful weapons.

 

Actions To Become Your Own Authority

How can you also grow beyond being “had”, “taken in”, and “betrayed” by people who we are told to believe are an authority for any aspect of our life – such as love, health, freedom, finances and our personal choices?

My greatest suggestion is to not blindly trust what you are told.

Stop … doing … that.

Instead, look at real life actions and events. If things feel “off” they often are. If new information comes your way be OPEN to it. Investigate it. Check credentials, histories and second opinions.

You don’t know everything. None of us do.

If things don’t add up (despite words you are told) then you need to pay attention. Stop passing things off with, “Oh well, what can I do?” or “Maybe I’m just imagining things” or “Why would they do something bad?” or “Surely things will be alright” and other similar passive excuses.

Ask for the truth. SEEK it. Truth is truth. It is verifiable. It has evidence, data, facts. If it’s censored, covered over, hidden, lied about – then you have your answer.

The truth sets you free, whereas ignoring possible deception could take you deeply into the pits of hell.

Seeking truth needs to be important to us after suffering narcissistic abuse. It is as vital as seeking peace, healing and wholeness.

Does what is taking place feel right to you? Are you experiencing real results? Are you moving further forward into empowerment, solidness, comfort and feeling more resolved, whole and at peace?

If you continue to break down then this version of things is NOT the truth for you.

Most of all, claim YOUR truth as your authority. If you just go along and agree because you are told you should, it’s the popular belief, you are causing trouble or to avoid ridicule, censoring or being a target, you are in Wrong Town.

No one knows the truth for you. Your Soul does. Source does.

YOU do.

I hope that this has been an enlightening article for you and that it will help you beware of narcissists in positions of authority.

Can you relate to what I have written? Do you know you need to be more open, self-trusting, pro-active and diligent to find the truth? Do you struggle to do this? Is this something you have become much better at?