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When we care about people, we want to save them from pain by offering them
the benefit of our experience. Sometimes we feel like we know what is best
for them. Sometimes, like when their safety is involved, we need to step in,
but those times are rare. More often we find ourselves becoming frustrated
when our close friends or family members do not use our relationship insights
or follow our dietary advice, and this is where we find our challenge. We may
even find ourselves becoming angry when they choose another path. This
strength of feeling is usually a sign that our motivations go beyond merely
helping another to indicate that there is a lesson there for us.
First, we need to keep in mind that each of us is on our own path and that we
all learn differently. When we trust the universe, we know that there is a
higher power at work that knows what is best for our loved one. Since we
don't want to deny them experiences of deep feeling that are essential steps
in the growth of their spirit, we can instead offer them our counsel. After
we have given our gift, it is time to release it, along with our expectations
of them and their choices, with love.
Once that is done, we can remind ourselves that our relationships are mirrors
that allow us to see ourselves more clearly in the reflection. That is why it
is easier for us to see solutions to other people's problems than to see
answers for our own. We can also learn from these experiences when we ask
ourselves if we ever do the same thing. Maybe we do not share experiences
with relationships, but we do with our finances or our food choices. In being
willing to look at ourselves and see why we are being irritated by what other
people choose to do with their lives, we can be like an oyster and make
irritations into pearls. With these pearls of wisdom, we learn to release the
desire for control over others and instead enrich their lives as we enrich
our own.
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