Grow As We Go (MonB)

 You won’t be the only one

I am unfinished, I’ve got so much left to learn
I don’t know how this river runs
But I’d like the company through every twist and turn
Ooh, who said it’s true
That the growing only happens on your own?
They don’t know me and you

Those are lyrics from the song “Grow As We Go,” written and performed by Ben Platt, who is a Broadway star, actor, and musician. The lyrics are as vulnerable as they are beautiful. Everyone wants someone to grow with and, in turn, someone who wants to grow with them. But what does that actually mean? How do you “grow together” week-to-week, year-to-year?

Growing individually seems clear. It’s a no-brainer for some of us. While individuality and personal growth are very important, it is equally important to remember that relationships are dynamic entities that also require that same nurturing and development. Growth in a relationship happens when both partners commit to evolving together.

Here are a few ways that growth can be actualized in a relationship on a daily or even weekly basis.

Get Vulnerable

In our quest for self-improvement, we often overlook the power of vulnerability—that tender space of nuance where nothing is black and white, where we are imperfect, insecure, or any other state of being we’d rather not show another. By opening up and sharing these aspects of ourselves, we foster deeper connections. For couples, this means creating a safe space where both partners can express their fears, dreams, and insecurities without judgment. Dedicate time each week to a “vulnerability session” where you and your partner share something that has been weighing on your mind. This practice not only builds trust but also deepens your emotional intimacy. Remember, growth begins when we step out of our comfort zones and allow ourselves to be truly seen.

Do Something New Together

Being new at something together can be an amazing, active way to experience each other in equally new ways. It not only gives each partner a fresh set of eyes toward each other and the relationship, but it also helps you to shake up any unconscious routines and patterns. Taking a cooking class together, joining a book club (or creating one for just you two!), participating in a workshop, or learning a new language are all inspiring ways to open up new avenues of connection.

Cultivate a Shared Vision

In order to grow together, you have to know where you want to go together. A shared vision is the glue that binds a couple together, providing a sense of purpose and direction. Having common goals and aspirations creates a framework for mutual support and growth. This doesn’t mean that you have to share every ambition but rather that you find common ground in your values and long-term objectives.

Take time to sit down with your partner and discuss your individual goals and how you can support each other in achieving them. Then, create a vision board or a written plan that outlines your shared goals for the future. This could include anything from financial aspirations to big travel plans or professional pursuits like writing a book or starting a business. Revisit and update the vision regularly to ensure that you are both aligned and motivated. Most importantly, don’t forget to celebrate your manifestations.

Growing together as a couple is an ongoing journey that requires dedication, empathy, and a willingness to evolve. To harken back to Ben Platt’s lyric above, “I am unfinished, I have so much left to learn,”—it is by embracing this kind of vulnerability with our partners that we can foster a relationship that is not only resilient but also profoundly fulfilling. Remember, the journey of growth is not a destination but a continuous process of learning and evolving together. Love is not about being the perfect partner or being perfect in any way, but rather about growth and transformation and enjoying that process with someone who walks beside you, supporting each other along the way. You’ll find you are growing as you’re going.