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Dear me,
Whatever your doing, I want you to stop, find a quiet place, and listen to the advice—or since you seem to not really listen to advice (how dare someone tell me what to do), let’s just call them reminders that I have for you.
There is so much life about to happen; it will go by faster than you can comprehend. Try to really remember that no matter what, you will be okay; you will always be the person you can count on at the end of the day.
Several times, you will feel like you can take a deep breath because you have figured life out. Most of the time, as soon as you have that thought, some sort of chaos will follow. Try your best to not blame others for the choices you make; each person has to decide what to do with each day, how they cope with pain and sadness. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t revolve around you, but buckle up buttercup because your going to learn to roll with the punches.
Time. It seems like it drags on, but pretty soon you will wonder what happened to the days when the biggest worry was what soda and chips to get at the city pool. I can still hear the jukebox playing so loud and the carefree feeling of just simply being a kid. I have a life-changing thing to say, and it’s so important:
You only get to be a child once.
You only get to be a teenager once.
You only get one childhood.
Soak it all in. A mandate should be in place to not avoid your mom and dad. They love you so much, and one day you will cherish every single memory you have with them. Take the walk with you dad, go learn to play tennis, learn to play the guitar. Go ride horses with your mom, and don’t complain. Go tell your grandparents that you love them. Ask questions, learn the answers. Although this might not be true for everyone, this is a letter to me, so in speaking to myself, listen up.
Sit on the front porch and drink ice tea. Control the urge to rush out the door every chance you get. A time will come when you will wish that you could walk in that door or touch that door. Soak in the feeling of being at home, of coming home. Look around and remember your bedroom. One day, you will realize that returning home is never the same. In fact, you will never return home at some point. You will say goodbye to some of the best memories of your life and you might not even realize it. Enjoy the feeling of not being homesick. Stay home.
Appreciate and respect the older folk that come and sit on the porch; they have knowledge and many gems to tell you. If you listen, you will save yourself many heartaches. People won’t live forever, but it’s rare for you to grasp that concept growing up, but you will one day. When you learn the feeling of loss and the excruciating reality that there simply is not a damn thing you can do to change what is no longer existing on this earth, it changes you. Try to learn how to breathe, to feel, and to express yourself. Say the words I love you, I appreciate you. Some people can never be replaced. Time goes fast and years steal away people we love.
Be honest with yourself about the fears you have, the doubts you struggle with, and why it’s so scary to tell anybody what’s on your heart and mind. Recognize that you’re “allowed” to have your own opinion and feelings. Creating your authentic self, perception, and personal choice is a freedom that you have, and you need to do so and not wait until your 30s. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Not everyone has the same favorite color. Most people decide what foods they enjoy, what color they prefer; it’s what makes each of us unique individuals. To be different, to figure out what defines you, this is something that everyone should do. Denying yourself to be who you want to be is a restraining order to life.
Upon birth, many lives already have instructions and set definition behind the name given. It is imperative that you never allow others to set the barrier for the life you live. It is vital that you think about the reasons why you do what you do. To follow in the footsteps because that’s all you know, that’s not always best. Make sure that you open your eyes and use your brain; use your heart. It’s hard to figure out life. Really hard; don’t take the easy way out.
Nobody gets to escape the ups and downs in life. Learn to embrace feelings and emotions. Every human alive at some point feels like they deserve something from this universe we exist in. The reality is that we deserve nothing. It is a gift to wake up each day and to be healthy. It is a privilege to have life, and we simply take things for granted—not we, I take things for granted. This is easily done, but stop, block comparison, and learn the basics of maturity. Recognize what you have, be grateful for it, and show appreciation in whatever way you can.
Life does not have to be complicated. Humans have the tendency to obsess, to worry over things that will never happen. Resentment can sit deep inside and grow quickly, like quicksand it can swallow anyone in its path. Keep the sand in the hourglass, get rid of what is a waste, and refuse to accept it as okay. Days, months, years, each of us only have so much time on this earth. Realize that you can only do so much. You can’t change a single thing for another human. The only person you can control is you. Save your money, time, and sleepless nights. You’re not a princess and you’re not rescuing any prince no matter what you tell yourself. Accept reality. Read again.
Its okay to love who you want to love. Its okay to walk away from people who make you feel anxious or cause you to feel sick for the next week. Unfortunately, you can’t make everyone happy; focus on making yourself happy and simply accept it now. What you can do is recognize that the decisions you make, the feelings you create and share with others, doesn’t just involve you. Take others’ feelings and emotions seriously because healing from a broken heart sucks.
Mistakes happen. No big deal. This won’t mean that you never succeed, you’re not a failure, you aren’t bad or a sinner. Simply a human being who is growing up. You will struggle with nonacceptance after being shunned; this will change everything in life. You will survive it. It will never change, but you simply do your best to handle each day.
Instead of trying to protect those people we love and the feelings they have now, be honest. In the future, it will be easier for you to not lie, recognizing that truth is better then consequence; refuse to be scared. Lying is never an escape route and only makes things worse. Telling the truth is not that hard, and even if it is hard, experience will turn out to be the best teacher, and that will help form the person you become. Not everyone will love the choices you make but that’s not for them to decide. Take time to make decisions and take time to speak your truth. This is so important.
Sharing your life with another person is a really, really huge responsibility. Any relationship you get involved in will change you. Make sure that you take the time to get to know someone. Make sure that you take the voices in your head at face value, and understand that those voices were placed by people who no longer are around you. Stop the voices from dictating who you decide to get married to and at 18, realize, your just a kid. You have such a limited understanding of life. At 18, you simply know squat. How could you possibly understand the concept of marriage.
Newsflash: you don’t. Impossible.
First loves stick with you for many years; realize patterns in relationships, control the urge to trade in boys for so-called better looking ones or according to what your mom says to do. Trust yourself and when you realize that you most certainly didn’t do that, forgive yourself because you can’t do anything about it now. Life happens and you really will be okay. Yes, trauma and PTSD become best friends, but who doesn’t have those in their life? Are you even living if you escape that? Who knows? Not you.
Life isn’t easy; in fact it will get really difficult, but it also will be stunning at times. The few select humans in this entire universe that you get the chance to spend time with and create memories with will be some really amazing humans. Simply some of the best.
Word of advice: just slow down and savor the time.
Enjoy the memories.
Life is precious and delicate.
When you realize that you need to pick yourself first, you’ll come to terms with the fact that you hold the reins to becoming someone you love. Ignoring what you need will never make you feel okay in life.
Recognize that art can be other humans. A museum can be filled with history and expensive priceless treasures. A part of history that can’t be duplicated and creates a lasting timepiece. We have many things that become a valuable part of us during our life. A museum within us.
Some of the best secrets to life can be told to you by Winnie the Pooh.
To learn unconditional love, rescue a dog and have that dog for the length of its life. You will be taught love, acceptance, understanding, forgiveness, and an experience that will stay with your heart forever. Love the old family pet because all good things to come to an end.
When you have a friendship and you call someone “my best friend,” make sure they know that. You assume they know how much they mean to you and the depth of your love and respect for them. You have to say this; stop assuming.
The decisions you make fleetingly hold the key to others’ feelings and change lives. You become selfish and put yourself in bad situations trying to escape what is ignored. If I could give a court order to you to change this: it would be summoned and all the tears, heartache, and pain involving my name would not exist in the minds of those that I have loved or love. Footnote being: if I loved you once, I still do. Love is not cliche in my heart. If I stand by you once, I’ll stand by you forever. Titles might change, but I promise you, this is one thing that you, Jessie do understand. Maybe you express it in a weird way, but you do love who you love.
Most of all, I want you to be you. Don’t be scared of the things you will face or what others say. It’s all background noise. This is your one chance to make a life you love and if you don’t—change it. Be a good person. Have a tender heart and always remember that in an instant life can change—but that’s okay. It is. Your a once in a lifetime girl.
Love always,
Me
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