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For too long, women have been applauded for how much we can take instead of how well we are treated.
We’ve been praised for being endlessly understanding, emotionally available, and ride-or-die even when those around us offer the bare minimum.
Somewhere along the way, love became confused with labor. And worth became confused with how much we could endure.
This isn’t empowerment. It’s exhaustion. And it’s time we call it what it is: emotional martyrdom disguised as love.
We are not emotional dumpsters. We are not here to carry what others refuse to unpack. Our self-worth in relationships shouldn’t be measured by how well we survive poor treatment, but by how sacredly we protect our peace.
The Myth of the “Strong Woman”
The cultural idea of a “strong woman” often translates to a woman who over functions. She overextends. She holds everyone together. She gives without reciprocation. She forgives without accountability. Her strength is praised but rarely supported.
This myth teaches us that if we break down, we’re weak. That needing rest makes us lazy. That saying “enough” makes us difficult.
But the truth is:
Strength isn’t how much we can carry. It’s knowing when to put it down.
We don’t earn love through suffering. The more we internalize the belief that strength equals silence, the more we drift from our center.
Self-Worth is the New Standard
Authentic standards don’t come from people pleasing. They come from healing. From a woman looking into her own soul and saying, “I won’t betray you anymore.”
Self-worth in relationships isn’t about control or perfection. It’s about peace. It’s about emotional safety. It’s about being loved in a way that doesn’t require self-abandonment.
When we begin to value ourselves, we naturally become less tolerant of:
>> Low effort conversations
>> One-sided romance
>> Passive aggressive communication
>> Hot and cold intimacy
>>Emotional dumping with no regard for our mental state
The shift doesn’t always feel empowering at first. It actually feels…lonely.
But that loneliness is not punishment. It’s the clearing before divine alignment arrives.
How to Shift from Suffering to Sovereignty
Here are three mindset shifts that help me honor my self-worth in relationships:
1. Ask: “Is this nourishing me or draining me?”
We’re allowed to walk away from anything that leaves us emotionally empty. Our peace is not a negotiation.
2. Set emotional boundaries early.
Boundaries are not walls. They are invitations for healthy connection. They teach others how to honor our energy and give us space to choose alignment.
3. Drop the need to be understood by everyone.
We don’t have to justify our growth. Those ready for depth will meet us there. Those who aren’t will naturally fall away.
Come Home to Yourself
When we stop bleeding to be loved, the world changes. Not just our world, but the entire world.
We no longer define love by suffering. We define it by presence, mutuality, and ease.
And as we honor our self-worth, we become a mirror for other women to do the same.
So no, we’re not too much. We’re not asking for too much. We’re simply no longer available for too little.
~
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