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When we find ourselves in an argument,
we may feel like we are losing control of emotions that have taken on
lives of their own. When we can become aware that this is happening,
taking a deep breath can help us step back from the situation. Once we
can separate ourselves from the heat of the moment, we may find that the
emotional trigger that began the argument has little to do with the
present situation, but it may have brought up feelings related to
something else entirely. Looking honestly at what caused our reaction
allows us to consciously respond more appropriately to the situation and
make the best choices.
We can make an agreement with our
partners and those closest to us that asking questions can help all of us
discover the source of the argument. The shared awareness can result in
finding simple solutions to something physical, like low blood sugar or
even a hormonal surge. Maybe we are taking ourselves too seriously, and
we can just laugh and watch the tension dissolve. We also could learn
that perhaps we are addicted to the excitement that drama brings and the
chemicals that our body creates when we are angry. Or there may be a
deeper issue that requires discussion, understanding, and patience. The
more we allow ourselves to step back and examine our reasons for arguing,
the easier it becomes to allow real feelings to surface and guide us
toward solutions that improve our lives.
When we can be clear about our feelings
and intentions, we have a far better chance of getting what we want than
if we lose control or allow our subconscious minds to manipulate the
situation. We might take our frustrations out on the people closest to us
because we feel safe and comfortable with them, but misplaced anger can
cause more harm than good. Arguing for what we truly believe can empower
us and help us to direct our passions toward greater life experiences.
Truly knowing our reasons for arguing enables us to grow emotionally in
ways that will affect our whole being.
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