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I once had a friend who said,
“I don’t think I’ve ever actually felt safe while being loved.”
Not because she hadn’t been loved.
But because she had learned early to leave parts of herself at the door to be lovable.
And so love became a performance.
A ritual of pleasing, earning, proving.
A choreography of disappearing.
She was brilliant at it.
Soft but sharp.
Deep but accommodating.
She knew how to show up as the version of herself that would be welcomed, celebrated, or needed—depending on the room.
But late at night, her body would tremble with a kind of ancient ache.
Not for more love, exactly.
But for true love.
The kind that lets you stay.
Messy. Tender. Unimproved.
One night she said:
“I don’t think I’m disconnected. I think I’m just buried.”
That was the sentence that changed everything.
Because the truth is, many of us aren’t broken or lost or even numb.
We’re simply layered.
Covered by years of adaptation.
Blanketed by nervous systems trained to stay alert.
Shaped by stories that told us our tenderness had to earn its right to exist.
And yet…
The body remembers.
The heart remembers.
The part of you that has never stopped longing…remembers.
We don’t need to fix ourselves.
We need to return.
Return to the parts we abandoned.
Return to the pace that feels real.
Return to sensation, to instinct, to self-trust.
This is the kind of healing I believe in.
Not the kind that makes you better—the kind that makes you honest.
With yourself.
With your rhythms.
With your no, and your yes.
This kind of healing is not a checklist or a five-step formula.
It’s not another task on your self-development list.
It’s something slower. Wilder. More sacred.
Something like remembering who you were before you needed protection.
It’s what my book series, I AWAKE, is about.
And if you’re someone who has ever longed for softness without threat, or pleasure without guilt, or intimacy without armor then I think this kind of healing might feel like a homecoming.
No pressure. No rush.
But if your body leaned in while reading this, come closer.
~
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