Growing From Poor Me to Facing My Fear and
Dreams.
I came to CoDA
and as they say “my life was a mess”. I cried when I read every line of the
Twelve Promises. The Promises were all I hoped for. Then I started believing in
myself. Speaking my truth.
Once I remember
asking for something, trembling inside and not being able to look my husband in
the face, but I did it!! I felt fear but did it anyway. I felt my husband had
squashed my life. His fault or mine? Probably both. But being codependent, I
was second guessing and pleasing and never happy in myself. I made a decision,
not long after joining CoDA, that as I work the program and if my husband and I
split up or stay together it wasn’t my decision alone. It was in the laps of
the gods, my HP now as I know it.
Now 3 years
later my husband and I get on really well. Our lives have grown together in so
many ways. One of the things I really love now is when he gets angry driving, I
no longer think it’s my fault as I thought before. Once we ended up laughing
when he was driving angrily and he realised how silly he sounded.
It’s not all
roses. I find communicating with my children hard, but I come back to CoDA
meetings sharing, asking for feedback and ESH and I learn. Not as fast as I’d
like to.
My job has
changed dramatically. I have followed my dream and become a flight cabin crew.
My recent achievement which would never have happened if it wasn’t for my CoDA
groups is I’m going on holiday to India by myself. My husband has accepted my
dream of travel, and I’ve accepted his fear of flying. But we do plan on having
lots of holidays together but only short flights and trains.
I’m only halfway
through my Steps and I feel a miracle. Today I was having deep uncomfortable
feelings, and I suddenly thought to name this feeling. And I had to take time
and I wasn’t sure. It was guilt and when I realised I had done nothing wrong I
let it go. I asked my HP to help me and the day became good.
Tricia M.
04.03.2026
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