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When we experience any kind of
devastating loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one, a dream, or a
relationship, feelings may arise within us that are overwhelming or
difficult to cope with. This sense of grief can also come up when we are
separated from anyone or anything we have welcomed into our lives. And
while it may feel like we are caught up in a never-ending spiral of
sadness and emptiness, it is important to remember that the grief we are
feeling is not a permanent state of being. Rather, grief is part of the
process of letting go that in many ways can be a gift, allowing us to go
deeper within ourselves to rediscover the light amid the seeming
darkness.
The emotions that accompany any kind of
loss can be intense and varied. A sense of shock or denial is often the
first reaction, followed by anger. Sometimes this anger can be directed
at your loved one for “abandoning” you; at other times you may feel outrage
toward the universe for what you are enduring. And while there are stages
of grief that people go through — moving from denial to anger to
bargaining to depression to acceptance — the cycles of grief often move
in spirals, sometimes circling forward and then back again. You may even
experience moments of strength, faith, and laughter in between. While
these emotions seem to come and go sporadically, it is important to feel
them, accept them, and allow them to flow. With time, patience, and
compassion, you will eventually find your center again.
As we move through our grief, we may
find ourselves reluctant to release our pain, fearing we are letting go
of who or what we have lost. We may even regard our movement toward
healing as an act of disloyalty or giving up. Know that while the
hurt may fade, the essence of what you had and who you loved will have
already transformed you and forever stay with you. If anything,
once you are ready for the pain of your loss to subside, their memories
can then live more fully within you. Remember, that healing is a part of
the spiraling cycles of grief, and when you let yourself feel restored
again, you are surrendering to a natural movement that is part of the
dance of life.
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