If you’ve ever been to a social gathering where you’ve felt awkward and
uncomfortable, chances are you are not alone. While social gatherings can be
very enjoyable, especially when we are surrounded by people whose company we
enjoy, there are social events that we attend where we sometimes find
ourselves wishing we were someplace else. Such occasions can sometimes be the
cause of much anxiety and self-consciousness. We may even feel like everyone
else is having a good time except for us. Yet the truth is that everyone has
felt shy and awkward on occasion. One of the best ways to overcome
self-consciousness or get past your feelings of shyness at social gatherings
is to focus on the people around you. If you can remember that other people
might also be feeling awkward or shy, you might find the thought of speaking
to them less intimidating or overwhelming.
The next time there is a social event you feel nervous about attending, you
may want to try this exercise: Spend some time with your eyes closed and breathe
deeply. When you feel ready, create your own zone of comfort by visualizing
yourself surrounded in a warm white light that is protective yet accepting of
others. Imagine people at the event being drawn to you because of the open
and warm feelings that you are radiating. When you arrive at the event, take
a moment to spread this same light of loving acceptance to everyone around
you. Smile and greet people warmly. Try going up to someone who is standing
alone and introduce yourself. When you radiate acceptance, openness, and
receptivity, people can’t help but respond to you in kind.
Focusing on how we can make other people at a social gathering feel at ease
can help us forget about our own insecurities. In the process, we end up
making the very connections that we seek. The next time you attend a social
gathering, invite people to join you in your zone of comfort that you have so
lovingly and intentionally created. Let yourself enjoy being encircled in the
warmth of their friendships.
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