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There was a time when fear lived in my body like an uninvited guest, always beneath the surface, waiting for a reason to explode into volcanic rage.
The kind of fear you mask with a fake smile. The kind that keeps you hypervigilant, exhausted, constantly scanning for threats before they even arrive.
I know what it feels like to be pulled into the storm—to have your attention hijacked by chaos, by manipulation, by the relentless urgency of a system that feeds on dysregulation.
And I also know what happens when you make a different choice, when you refuse to be dragged into the spirals of fear-based thinking or set a boundary around your mental real estate, like choosing not to let a toxic person or situation live rent-free in your mind.
More than anything, I know how contagious kindness and courage can be. I’ve seen the ripples of healing pulse through my own family. I’ve watched cycles of abuse be disrupted, survivors become empowered to stand up, set boundaries, and say, enough.
What if we lived as if everything we do is magnified into the world around us?
Because the truth is—it is.
We are wired to feel each other. Long before language, before logic, our nervous systems evolved to synchronize, attuning to the subtle signals of those around us. This isn’t just emotional intuition—it’s biology. It’s physics. The electromagnetic field of the heart extends several feet beyond the body, sending out information that others unconsciously receive. Science confirms what ancient traditions have long known: We don’t just influence each other with our words—we influence each other with our presence.
Fear spreads. Hatred spreads. But so does courage. So does presence.
When you regulate your nervous system, you shift the frequency of your field. You become a signal of safety in an overstimulated world. Your steadiness allows others to steady. Your breath reminds others to breathe. And every time you choose to anchor yourself in awareness instead of spiraling into panic, you reclaim something oppressive systems don’t want you to know you have—your agency.
We cannot control the chaos of the world, but we can control how we meet it. And that choice? That choice is contagious.
How to Become an Anchor in a World of Fear
Next time you feel fear creeping in—whether it’s from personal stress, the relentless cycle of bad news, or collective panic—pause. Take a moment, then try this:
1. Notice the Prickle of Fear without Reacting Immediately
Fear has a signature: a racing heart, a tightening jaw, the sudden urge to scroll, argue, or do something—anything—to discharge discomfort.
Instead of reacting, just notice: Ah, here it is. Fear is present.
2. Pause, Pull Back, and Name What’s Happening
Step back from the thought or emotion and say, This is fear. This is uncertainty. Orient to the present moment—look around, soften your gaze, remind yourself where you are.
This simple act begins to bring your prefrontal cortex back online, shifting you from survival mode to conscious awareness.
3. Remember: Not All Thoughts are Facts
Fear tricks us into believing its stories. But much of our fear is based on perceived threats, not actual danger.
Ask yourself: Is this fear rooted in something real? Or is it an old survival pattern running on autopilot?
4. Ground Yourself in the Here and Now
Feel the sensations of your feet pressing into the earth. Notice gravity holding your body.
Take a full, slow breath and let your exhales be longer than your inhales. This signals safety to your nervous system.
5. Connect with your Heart—it’s More Powerful than you Think
Spend a few moments placing your hand over your heart, feeling its steady rhythm. Bring your awareness there, imagine sending love and kindness through your heart space.
This isn’t just a nice idea—it has a real physiological impact, helping regulate your entire system.
6. Engage in Rhythmic Movement
Walk. Dance. Rock. Breathe in time with your steps.
Rhythmic movement helps discharge stuck fear energy and restore equilibrium.
7. Remember: Just Feeling your Own Body is Enough
You don’t have to fix anything. You don’t have to have all the answers.
Simply being present, breathing, and choosing to stay connected to yourself is an act of courage.
This is how we shift the world—not by overpowering fear, or tuning out, but by refusing to be overtaken by it.
Your presence matters. Your steadiness ripples outward.
And the more of us who choose to become a refuge, rather than be swept up in abusive cycles, the more we build a world where courage, not fear, becomes the thing that spreads.
~
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