An Ongoing Journey
My name is
Francine, and I am a grateful recovering codependent.
I came into
the rooms of Co-Dependents Anonymous in 2005, after I found out my ex-husband
had been having a 9-month long affair. He met her in AA. I never thought
something could happen like that with him being sober and us having three
children together (the youngest being 5 years old).
Raised in a
family of alcoholic/addicts, parents that fought all the time, and what seemed
like constant household conflict, I became a people pleaser very young. If I
could make someone happy by helping them, making them laugh or anything else I
would do it. I learned at a young age to sacrifice myself for others' comfort.
After losing
my parents in a three-year period and then that affair, I knew something had to
change. I began going to meetings, got a sponsor and then worked the Steps. The
Twelve Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous healed me. Not completely but I did
feel like a different person when I completed them. I felt so much love for
myself. I had more of an understanding of others’ behavior. Most importantly, I
began to learn how to speak with others in a way that was safe for me and
respectful of them.
Now, this is
an ongoing journey, and I don’t always get it right, but life is so much better
with this program as my foundation.
I still have
my sponsor after 20 years. We still have our bi-monthly meetings, but now we’re
more co-sponsors and support one another. She’s 85 years old and one of my
greatest gifts from recovery.
I remember
“one day at a time” “be gentle with myself” and when feeling powerless I recite
the Serenity Prayer. I journal, and I have added other tools such as
meditation, long walks, reading/listening to spiritual literature and videos,
sharing with people I’m safe with and of course attending CoDA meetings. I no
longer feel alone.
I am Precious
& Free.
Francine
02.19.2025
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