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We encounter a wide variety of people
throughout our lives. Many of them touch us in some positive way.
Occasionally, however, we encounter those individuals who can be
difficult to deal with. Perhaps this person is a colleague or close
friend, and you feel they are being deliberately obtuse, inviting
trouble, or doing foolish things that annoy you. It may be possible to
appease or avoid those people in the short term. Dealing with them in the
long term, however, can be exhausting. The behavior of difficult people
can even make you feel like losing your temper, but keep your cool.
Staying calm is the first step, particularly when you are ready to
confront them.
Avoiding a difficult person can prove
impossible and is not in your best interest, especially if you live or
work together. Likewise, attempts to steer clear of them can become a
source of stress and anxiety when they are a part of your social circle.
When this is the case, it is best to kindly, but directly, address the
problem. Try not to let their actions or mood affect you. Tell the person
how their actions make you feel, and encourage them toward a more
positive course of action. Speak assertively, but respectfully, and don’t
portray yourself as a victim. Another approach for dealing with a
difficult individual is to gain a deeper understanding of who that person
is. Ask them why they do or say certain things. If you disagree with
their motives, question them further, so you can try and discover the
root of their behaviors. In doing so, you may be able to gently shift
their perceptions or at least help them understand your point of view.
You may want to think about what you
want to say to a difficult person before you actually talk to them. If
you can, avoid being judgmental or defensive, and try to approach the
conversation objectively. If the person is open to the idea, try coming
to an agreement. If approaching them fails, let it go and move on. There
is no reason to let a difficult person or situation have power over your
state of being. Remember that a lot can be accomplished when you take the
time to listen and offer up alternative perspectives.
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