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Love notes to my precious readers:
It’s incredibly challenging to know what topic would be meaningful for me to write and meaningful for you to read. Do I create something light? Serious? Political? Philosophical? Spiritual? What?!
I don’t need to tell you that it’s crazy-making out there. Heartbreaking, too. Yet, what about all the people from red, blue, and purple states rising up together in response to all the cruelty and injustices? This alone makes my heart ache and expand at the same time.
So, after a lot of deep breathing, silence, hemming and hawing, staring up at the sky, devouring a Boston Cream doughnut (don’t tell anyone), and asking the universe and my inner guru for the final answer, I finally know what I need to explore and share.
The questions my heart keeps asking:
>> How do I deal with a constant stream of painful news when it feels like it’s tearing my heart into pieces?
>> How do I tame my nervous system?
>> How do I invite moments of joy into my life without survivor’s guilt?
So, after all that mulling, here it is.
I don’t know if there’s an official name for what’s happening deep within me, but I like to call it Emotional Multitasking.
Most days, I function fairly well, and if you meet me, I might seem “fine.” (By the way, fine is one of my least favorite words. When someone says they’re fine, it usually means the opposite.)
Here’s my truth about how I am feeling.
I don’t know if this is an empath thing or just a heart thing, but while I’m running errands or crossing items off my to-do list, I’m also seeing multiple real-time split screens in my head and heart.
I’m constantly wondering:
Who’s okay? Who isn’t?
Who’s scared? Who’s hiding in their home?
Who’s being treated unfairly? Who disappeared?
Who’s trying to help them, and what are they doing?
How can I help more?
What are the emotional truths in all these unfolding human stories?
Needed Escapes from Reality
Despite all the challenges that come with emotional multitasking, there are also glorious moments in which I allow myself to catch a break from all my deep concerns and what I call the tinnitus of my soul.
If I immerse myself in a creative project, sing, read a mesmerizing book, write, play word games, or watch a good movie, my mind softens for a while. It’s a much-needed respite, and I highly recommend that you do this, too.
But when my escape time comes to an end, my split screens switch back on and I begin to “feel the feels” all over again.
If I let myself.
We don’t want to become numb, bury our head in the sand, or live as if nothing is happening. We need to know, accept, feel, and eventually let go of both the good and the bad. We don’t have control over most of it.
What we do have control over is ourselves. We have agency over our nervous system. It isn’t easy, but it is possible.
Along with breathing deeply and slowly throughout the day, taking restorative naps, meditating, and monitoring my news intake, I also sprinkle in a few extra ingredients.
Four Gentle Ways I Regulate My Nervous System
Nature’s magic:
The other night, I couldn’t sleep, so I sat at my kitchen table and quietly gazed at the full moon for nearly an hour. I felt an inner peace that was nothing short of heavenly.
This morning, I watched the sun rise. Tonight, I’ll watch it set. There’s something profoundly calming about their unchangeable predictability and healing light.
Inner child playfulness and whimsy:
Then there’s my fairy garden. I bought it last summer and brought it inside for the winter. Yesterday, I moved the fairies onto a shelf in my bathroom.
Now, when I brush my teeth, take my vitamins, sit on the toilet, shower, or put on makeup, there they are.
Tiny, whimsical fairies smiling at me, protecting me, reminding me of the healing power of imagination and joy.
I also create small, spiritual spaces in my home. You might see a small table with a special rock, mineral, and shell, a magic wand, a sound healing bowl, an affirmation card, or sage for clearing negative energy.
Cooking with a creative twist:
Tonight, while I make dinner, I’ll put on the music of Zorba the Greek. I’ll sing and dance in the kitchen with a spatula in one hand and random spices flying into a pot of vegan soup with the other.
Imagine! Music, movement, singing, meditation, presence, and creative cooking all wrapped in a few hours of delicious delight.
Peace begins with me:
Peace begins and ends with each of us. Mostly, everything else is beyond our control.
What we can control is how often we breathe in moments of joy, light, and gratitude, how courageously we engage in peaceful activism, how deeply we love ourselves and others, and how willing we are to become the kindness, peace, and love we long for in the world.
Look for Moments of Goodness and Light
What deeply moves me during this time of divisiveness and cruelty is the sheer number of incredibly good people rising up.
I’m inspired by the people in Minnesota right now. Their courage, compassion, healing music, and people power are vibrant and inspirational.
We’ve seen this same courageous spirit in many other states and countries.
And how about all the activists and accidental activists in a multitude of red states showing up at town meetings and voting down concentration camps in their communities?
Kudos, and thank you. I’m touched beyond words.
This, too, is the story of our humanity.
And then, amid all the chaos, there are the Buddhist monks and their peace dog, Aloka.
While people are being murdered, forcibly taken from cars, abused, deported, and sent to concentration camps, in comes goodness personified.
The timing of the Buddhist monks walking more than two thousand miles across the United States in the name of peace feels like one of the miracles we sorely needed.
Seeing people lining the streets to receive healing energy, breathe it in, drink it into their bodies, and whisper thank you…lifts my spirit.
If you’ve seen videos of this, or even been there in person, I am sure your spirit has been lifted, too.
Especially now.
Living with Contradictory Feelings
Emotional multitasking asks us to stay informed without being destroyed by the news, to care deeply about others while still caring for ourselves, and to remember that even amid daily horrors, there is a force of goodness spreading love wherever it goes.
We can watch the news, and we can also call our representatives.
We can attend peaceful protests, and we can also quietly gaze at the moon.
We can cry and scream into our pillows, and we can also sing and dance in the kitchen.
We can fight fiercely for democracy, and we can also tend to fairy gardens and chase rainbows.
We can feel frightened for our planet, and we can also nurture our own small corner of love and peace.
A Gentle Invitation
As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, it wasn’t easy to decide what to write about and it also wasn’t easy to share my vulnerabilities with you. If you are called to share your story with me, too, I would love to hear it.
What helps you ground and renew yourself when you’re sad, angry, or exhausted? What healing tools bring you back home to yourself?
As a collective love-consciousness energy force, our empathic qualities can feed one another with strength, hope, resilience, and love.
We can handle this messy life as long as we remember that you and I are here to support each other through the darkness and into the light of love and peace.
~
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