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What is real intimacy?
We all know it’s a deep connection between two people who are in love. And we often think that we only feel it through physical touch and doing things together that create memorable moments.
While it’s true that sex and quality time are intimate experiences, true intimacy—the one that strengthens love bonds—extends far beyond physical closeness.
It’s emotional, spiritual, and mental. At its core, we find vulnerability, emotional security, profound understanding, and validation. We find all the things that make us human.
I came across a post on Instagram today that beautifully describes the meaning of intimacy. It says that sex is not intimacy. Living under the same roof is not intimacy. Having late-night talks is not intimacy.
True intimacy revolves around emotional depth. It’s being able to break down in front of the one you love without judgement. It’s holding space for you, without trying to fix you, lecture you, or change you. Intimacy is presence. No expectations, no excuses, no accusations.
True intimacy is when you can ask for help. It’s when your partner knows your dark side and it doesn’t scare them. Your partner stays, even when your flaws come to the surface—even when they’re ugly and messy and unpredictable.
Being intimate is when you’re real—so real that communication is your go-to rescuer. Anger is not a hindrance, and sadness is not a flaw. There’s no punishment for real, raw emotions. No gaslighting, no manipulation, no games.
Intimacy is seeing each other when we hurt. It’s talking about it, no matter how tough or complicated it is. Words don’t scare; they bind and heal.
Here’s the full post:
View this post on Instagram
This kind of intimacy is rare. If you have it in your relationship, you’re blessed. If you don’t, you must learn how to cultivate it. Relationships without transparency and vulnerability are void. They’re flimsy and harbor lots of resentful, ugly feelings.
To practice being intimate, we need to remind ourselves and our partner that intimacy doesn’t only happen in the bedroom. It’s within our daily actions, behaviors, and words. It’s a moment-to-moment thing that can only grow and get better.
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author: Elyane Youssef
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