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{*Editor’s Note: Please note that this article contains some explicit topics and very honest viewpoints regarding both confirmed sexual crimes and alleged sexual abuse. This information is still coming to light and being investigated. We encourage you to inform yourself using the tools in the article, and reputable sources of journalism as we fight to uncover the truth both at home in the United States, and abroad. Elephant Journal articles represent the personal views of the authors, and can not possibly reflect Elephant Journal as a whole. Disagree with an Op-Ed or opinion? We’re happy to share your experience here.}
When “Love and Light” look away—why naming perpetrators is an act of compassion towards the victims.
I’ve sat with victims of sexual abuse and sexual violence as a therapist for almost two decades now. What stands out to me is that survivors of rape almost unilaterally say the exact same words:
“I got raped.”
They say it like the fault and the blame live squarely on their shoulders.
Like they should have been more careful.
Like they “got” raped as if you might get a cheeseburger on a Friday night.
They tell me this with their head bowed, and their eyes lowered to the ground, with tear-stained cheeks and sunken shoulders. Shame visible in every inch of their body. The words said between sobs or in a whisper so quiet I can barely hear them and I have to lean in, closer.
This is why it matters.
The Epstein files matter because for decades we have been looking away.
We have been looking away and denying the reality that there are people in this world who do monstrous things. To reduce our own anxiety and avoid the painful truth that humans can be capable of such darkness, it’s easier to pretend these things don’t exist. Easier to imagine that victims did something to deserve it. That perhaps she drank too much, or she shouldn’t have been out walking that late at night, or maybe her skirt was too short, or she should have said “no” louder, fought back harder, not flirted, not sent “mixed messages.”
All the imagined “shoulds” land on her.
Or, we could say the quieter, truer thing:
Maybe men shouldn’t rape women, and yes, children and teenagers, while we look away because it makes us too uncomfortable to face this truth.
Women don’t just “get raped” like they get their nails done on a Saturday afternoon.
They are raped, by people, who are protected by silence, secrecy, power, lies and, as we now know—money and fame.
The Epstein files have captivated all of my attention. I’ve spent countless hours looking at the Jmail and Jphotos, reading the research and deciding for myself what is true.
[*Editor’s Note: Trigger warning. Please note that while the links above are crucial documentary evidence of wrongdoing of both alleged and proven crimes, they contain explicit content; mature audiences suggested.]
The super rich and elite—the billionaire’s club—have been keeping secrets to stay rich and powerful. There is now black-and-white evidence in cold, hard emails that, at the very least, powerful people were looking the other way and even befriending individuals who were complicit in serious sexual crimes so that their bankrolls and businesses could profit from the relationship. In short? They looked the other way and maintained proximity simply because it benefited them to do so.
What are we going to do about this?
Do we want to keep supporting men like Elon Musk (Tesla), Jeff Bezos (Amazon), Reid Hoffman (LinkedIn), Bill Gates (Microsoft), Leslie Wexner (Victoria’s Secret, Bath & Body Works, Abercrombie & Fitch), Sergey Brin (co-founder of Google), and Peter Thiel (PayPal)? What about the politicians and the monarchy? These men are named in the files. You can read it for yourself. Whether or not they are legally or criminally implicated in sexual offences with children, the important question for me is this:
Are we okay with supporting people who are willing to be friends or business associates with known convicted sexual offenders for personal profit?
Would you be friends with a convicted pedophile?
If not, why would you support people who are?
The biggest impact we can have as “normal people” is to vote with our feet and vote with our dollars—follow the money. Our money made these men (and women) powerful, and now they would want us to look away.
No, I won’t look away.
And no, I’m not going to tell people to “focus on the positive” either. To deny the experience of others, especially when they want us to know, isn’t “love and light”—it’s spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity.
When we focus on only the positive, we are placing the shame square back on the shoulders of the victims after they’ve already carried so much. We ask them to hold the weight of our discomfort. We become complicit in continuing the trauma loop, rather than stopping it.
When we look the other way, more people get hurt.
I am not looking away.
Name them and shame them. The perpetrators. The enablers. All of them. This weight should land squarely on their shoulders.
It is time we shame the perpetrators of sexual violence, and those who support it, enable it, and profit from it—rather than the victims. That is how we make it stop. This has gone on far too long.
Some of the Epstein story has shocked me, some hasn’t—but Deepak Chopra really felt like a punch to my heart, likely because of the irony. I can’t say I’ve necessarily been a devoted fan of his work or of him personally. However, I have been a fan of what he has represented—a kind of figurehead for spirituality and the New Age genre.
Deepak speaks about mindfulness, enlightenment, compassion. Yet, allegedly, it couldn’t be anything farther from it.
To knowingly befriend a convicted sex offender, to invite him on holiday with “his girls,” to have him come under a fake name, to maintain a close relationship over years—as described in emails and accounts now surfacing—this is the opposite of compassion, mindfulness, and enlightenment.
Mindfulness, enlightenment, and compassion. What a load of malarkey.
Where is the compassion for the victims of abuse and violence? How is this demonstrating compassion for the children and teenagers who were raped by adult men under the watch and complacency of other adults, both men and women?
It is disgusting.
Let the illusion burn even if it makes our faces hot.
Because if we look away, if we stay silent, if we choose to focus only on “light and love” so we don’t have to face any uncomfortable truths…
We keep these people in power.
And we keep victims living in shame, carrying the weight of their suffering for the crimes of these men.
They have carried enough.
Trauma is not just about what shouldn’t have happened but did. Trauma is also about what should have happened, but didn’t.
What should happen right now is outrage. A demand for answers. Justice and vengeance for the victims. A public outcry from society. And for all of these abusers and enablers to be brought to their knees with their empires burnt to ash while we cheer in triumph like we cheered when Voldemort died.
Don’t look away, even when it’s hard.
Name them.
Shame them.
Burn down the false pedestals you once placed them on.
Vote with your money. Withdraw your worship.
A billionaire—or any powerful person—who has the capacity to change the world and has chosen not to, is a disgusting person anyway.
Your refusal to look away is part of the healing.
The victims want you to know—this is their reclamation. Don’t silence their cries for power. This is how they take their power back.
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