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*Elephant Journal articles represent the personal views of the authors, and can not possibly reflect Elephant Journal as a whole. Disagree with an Op-Ed or opinion? We’re happy to share your experience here.
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“We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who’s right and who’s wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don’t like about our associates or our society.” ~ Pema Chödrön
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The world is on fire—we can all agree to that.
Emotions are high, and we are right to call out every injustice. Our voices matter. They have impact and do create shifts in collective consciousness.
Having said that, the trend of calling out women by name and profession for not turning their Instagram feed into a political statement is curious to me. Recently, the movement has upsurged to: “I’m unfollowing every woman in my feed who hasn’t stood up for ‘insert relevant issue here.’”
I follow many accounts who have made it their role to be the voice in the wilderness. I appreciate their fervor and commitment to social revolution. Because of them, injustices are front and center—they invite us to mobilize.
I often repost these calls to action, as well as share my own stories and posts when I can, when I want to, and when I have something to say that is of relevance. Together, we are a force.
But…are we the patriarchy? Because that’s how it feels to me when I see a run toward eliminating everyone whose Instagram feed isn’t overtly political.
Should women be policing other women? That feels uncomfortably like internalized patriarchy, and reminiscent of what happened during the witch hunts.
Of course, everyone can do as they will—that’s part of the freedoms many of us enjoy. We can follow or unfollow as our instincts dictate.
And so I followed up my initial curiosity about this with several internal inquiries:
Do I have the right to shame others if they don’t share their activism on social media? (Listing and calling out the account holders, then blocking them after making a big proclamation.)
Is social media the be all and end all of our activism? Why are we placing so much importance on one area, that for many is untenable and still not an entirely safe space?
Is this trend conscious or unconscious virtue signaling?
Do I truly know what someone’s activism is, what their story is, what their capacity is, who they may be silently supporting in their own personal community or further out?
Should I be judging the appropriate timing of someone’s voice?
Do I know what they are suffering when witnessing the state of the world?
Are these folks who aren’t publicly political offering something of value to the community, even if they don’t share their private thoughts on world affairs?
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“We are all capable of becoming fundamentalists because we get addicted to other people’s wrongness.” ~ Pema Chödrön
We don’t all view activism through the same lens. I believe that all of us together—doing what we can, how we can—is the actual progress.
I concluded that this cancelling was not for me. I follow many folks whose opinion I do not share, and who do things differently. I don’t want to live in a bubble, only consuming what I believe and stand for.
There is something to be said for unfollowing someone dangerous to the individual or the collective, of course. The accounts being “cleansed” are mostly that of mentors, coaches, and podcast creators: “How can you teach about the divine feminine but not make public statements about war,” and “Why aren’t you taking sides in your feed,” and “How can you possibly make money at a time like this?”
Well, we all need the f*cking money these days, don’t we? Bills to pay, contributions to make for what we believe in, kids to feed, being sovereign in our finances to build safety…the list goes on.
A healthy community embraces that one way is not the only way, that some folks don’t feel safe to share their thoughts, that the aggression we’re seeing in online circles only pushes people further into their privacy.
I haven’t unfollowed any of the accounts who are participating in this cancelling, as most have been of service in their political stance. And I appreciate them for that. I’m just choosing not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I also appreciate the accounts that steadily, faithfully put good things out into the universe but do not publicly share their politics. I certainly would want that grace if I didn’t or couldn’t.
I’m also learning from this trend to ask myself: What is mine to engage with and what is not?
And I’m practicing one of Pema Chödrön’s teachings about minding my own business—shifting my focus away from judging others and trying to control external situations to minding my own reactions.
Pema teaches that instead of trying to change others to suit us, we can let go of the need to be right. That’s not always easy to do because we are passionate about what we care about. Should we become attached or triggered into a habitual pattern (Buddhism calls it shenpa), we can practice taking responsibility for our own minds and emotions.
Instead of looking at how we can blame others—an addictive behavior that occurs when something causes us discomfort—we can relax into the instinct and befriend our reactions.
What are your thoughts on this? I welcome the discussion.
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author: Monika Carless
Image: Author's own
Editor: Nicole Cameron
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