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We all strive to live happily without problems.
Longing for simplicity is a universal human desire to brush off pain. Although we all share the same desire, we know deep down that problems are inevitable.
In fact, life is full of them. Even on days when everything seems perfect, small things go wrong, like having a flat tire or breaking your favorite mug.
The inevitability of problems in life is part of our human experience. And despite our best efforts to dodge them, our attempts will forever remain futile.
For that reason, we must find a way to cope with life’s challenges. For more than a decade, Buddhism has helped me to deal with suffering. I no longer reject or deny problems; I practice the Buddha’s teachings instead.
When my husband’s business was burned to the ground last Thursday, I couldn’t practice any teaching. No philosophy or strategy could have wiped my tears.
The complete annihilation of what we call our second home has wrecked our spirits and hearts. We are still in shock. We are still sad. But, now, we are slowly moving away from grief and moving closer to acceptance.
If we are willing to move on and keep going, we have no other choice but to sit with ourselves and practice fundamental acceptance.
In Buddhism, the First Noble Truth is the unconditional acceptance of suffering. We don’t resist pain or what triggers it. We let it be. We welcome it. We make space for it.
When bad things happen, our inner resistance skyrockets. In moments of loss or dissatisfaction, we try to stop the unpleasant feelings or the unsatisfactory event from happening.
Our rejection of life’s universal laws causes us more suffering and keeps us stuck in denial. This pattern becomes a habit and gets in the way of true happiness.
The truth is some things are out of our control, but we have to be ready for them anyway. We have to accept that bad things happen instead of constantly trying to control our present moment.
When we accept the nature of things, we stop getting caught up in what we don’t want and surrender to what life has in store for us—good or bad. Things may not go our way, and it’s okay. Pretending to be happy is pointless. If we’re unhappy right now, we need to admit that we’re unhappy.
It’s tiring and draining to keep pretending that things should always be perfect or good. It’s emotionally exhausting to keep fighting reality when all we have to do is surrender.
Surrendering is easier than fighting obstacles that are unlikely to change. In Buddhism, they believe that accepting things as they are can actually clear our vision and wash away our misinterpretations. We can’t make sound choices when we are stuck in fighting mode. In order to improve our reality, we must accept it first.
We can’t bring back what the fire took from us, and there’s no point in wanting it back anyway. All we can do is accept our big loss. It’s a difficult time right now, and that’s okay. Tomorrow will be better. For now, I choose acceptance—not resistance.
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author: Elyane Youssef
Image: MiracleKilly/Pexels
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