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I came to a sad realisation watching Louis Theroux’s “Inside the Manosphere” documentary on Netflix, and that is: none of it surprised me.
I’ve been saying for quite some time that we have a massive, insidious issue that is growing and we are going to have a whole generation of incel, abusive, women-hating, misogynistic men if we don’t do something to stop the hatred and the filth that these men, who have huge followings, spew on a daily basis.
It’s why women are choosing the bear. It’s why women are choosing to stay single. It’s why men are facing a loneliness epidemic.
Every time I’ve written an article that bruises the fragile ego of one of these “types of men,” abuse is hurled. Write about societal issues we’re all seeing, and a group of really angry, insecure men take it as a personal attack.
If you’re not one of these men, my words should not affect you, and you should be able to clearly see the issues I’m writing about.
This documentary showed an unraveling of the men interviewed because they have an inability to regulate their emotions and are so driven to portray this ridiculous lifestyle that’s all about ego…to mask the insecurities, trauma, and limited belief systems from their childhood. They feed off one another in a frenzied pit of anger, resentment, and bitterness toward women.
Everything they do is for the approval of other men. To impress other men. To profit off other men.
And the losers in all this are the young men being indoctrinated into the bullsh*t. The young men who believe that any of this is real. The young men who buy their rubbish, believing they too will live this lavish lifestyle with women fawning all over them, even though they hate the very thing they want to fawn all over them. And, of course, women lose because the last thing we need is more hatred and misogyny. The last thing we need is more domestic violence or more deaths of women.
And contrary to popular belief within the manosphere, this is not women’s or feminism’s fault, and it is not our job to fix it. Feminism isn’t about hating men; it’s about equality, something every decent, well-adjusted human being should want. And before anyone comes at me, I’m not saying there are not poorly behaved women or women with their own issues and trauma, because there are, but as humans we all get hurt, rejected, feel loss and pain, but we don’t all go around blaming others. Abusing others. Hating others. Those who do, it’s a you issue, and you need therapy, healing, growth, a new mindset. Stop blaming a whole sex for the behaviour of a parent or an ex who hurt you. We also don’t have podcasts and social media growing at alarming rates of women who want to harm men. What we do have are some women pushing back and reacting to what they are seeing and hearing—two very different things.
The men in the manosphere are feeding off the insecurity, confusion, and anger of a group of disenfranchised, lost, and emotionally stunted young men who would benefit far more from therapy than listening to a bunch of messed up dudes on the internet.
Louis really didn’t have to do much. These men threw themselves under the bus with their ridiculous behaviour. Of course, when things didn’t pan out how they thought, they do what they always do and blame everyone else but themselves. Like petulant toddlers, they had a tantrum, which made the emotionally intelligent amongst society see right through them. It was an embarrassing spectacle and obvious these grown men were constantly triggered. And what’s even more obvious, despite the portrayed lavish lifestyles and constant attention, is these men are deeply troubled and miserable. Because happy, secure people simply don’t behave like this. Their emotional growth seems stuck somewhere in the teenage years.
They want a partner at their beck and call. A faithful partner who is committed to them, but they refuse to be faithful themselves. They speak about the “sexual market value,” which espouses women are at their peak between the ages of 18-25, but of course men’s value increases as they age. It’s used by men to justify their behaviour and is something spoken of in sex trafficking. Of course it’s something men created, and it’s not at all based on science or fact. It’s an outdated view and reduces complex human emotions and relationships to a transactional value. Because emotional depth doesn’t belong in the manosphere, everything is transactional to them.
As the documentary alarmingly showed, we have far too many young men looking at these messed up broken men as icons. There’s such a lack of critical thinking it’s frightening. There’s no discernment, and the young male fans interviewed seemed to be completely brainwashed. So lost and bewildered in their own lives they are desperately searching for somewhere to fit in. Somewhere that tells them they are not to blame for any of their woes in life; women are to blame.
They tell men they are born with no value. That women are born with value, being their looks, but men have none and need to create their value by making lots of money, getting “jacked,” and manipulating women. All lies. Imagine believing a baby boy has no value. Imagine believing a woman loses hers once she’s an adult.
And what was evidently clear as the documentary continued is all these men in the manosphere had some sort of adverse childhood event that formed their belief system and their life. Their fathers were either absent or abusive, so some sort of “daddy issues.” But also a couple of them seemed to blame their mother or have some deep-seated issues with their mother, usually the parent who did stick around. Either way, it was clear that they have significant childhood wounding, and instead of therapy, support, and learning to emotionally regulate, they chose this path. If their ideas and behaviors weren’t so toxic, you would almost feel sorry for them.
Then we had some of the absolutely ridiculous stuff that flew out of their mouths. First there was the belief that women who had prior sexual partners somehow held the DNA of these previous lovers within them and when they married and fell pregnant down the track, their child could look like an ex because all the DNA is still in there! This was raised on one of their podcasts, and Louis called the stupidity of it straight-out, but they were insistent this was the case. Of course, the moral to this story is men must find themselves a virgin, or at least someone who has had few partners. Women who have had multiple partners diminish in value in the “sexual market place” apparently.
If you’re not laughing at the absurdity or angry that young men and women are being hurt by this then some deep self-reflection is needed.
And then we have the “alpha” speak. We are alphas and anyone who treats women with respect and kindness are betas, cucks, or whatever other stupid term they wish to use. Let’s dismantle the alpha nonsense shall we. They call themselves alphas as they believe they are the top dogs. The leader of the pack. Dominant and in control. They are basing this off a flawed study of wolves in captivity that has been debunked. In the wild, wolves are family units and led by a male and female. So referring to someone as an alpha really does not mean much.
There were so many other disturbing parts, like the manosphere heavy-hitter who announced he’s in a one-sided monogamous relationship, which, of course, is the faithful wife, whilst he’s out doing whatever he wants, and the man who surrounds himself with scantily clad women even though he said he loathes those types of women.
Just when I think we can’t go any lower in society, we hit a new low. These men in the manosphere are master manipulators, as displayed by their behaviour toward women. But make no mistake, they are manipulating every man that follows them in the aim to not only take their money but keep them miserable so they can suck more money out of them. There’s no happiness here. There’s no road to success or love. They don’t know the meaning of the word love. And their success is fleeting based on who they can prey on next. Who is gullible and broken enough to get sucked into the lies. Where’s the joy of having all this wealth but nobody who really cares about you? Where’s the success in fraud and taking money from the vulnerable? Where’s the happiness when all they do is spew hatred and project all their fears and insecurities onto others? Where’s the growth when they remain stuck, rooted in the same angry and bitter space?
Imagine listening to an angry man and believing what he says women want instead of actually listening to women. None of these men have happy, fulfilling relationships, yet they are selling this “dream” to young men at a huge cost.
Men in the manosphere have a real inability to self-reflect. To acknowledge their own behaviours. To understand that rejection is a part of life and nobody is entitled to another person’s time or body. They cannot and will not accept women as equal beings and because of this they will never find a happy, long-lasting relationship with a woman, and this plays into their belief that women are to blame and not worthy, a self-fulfilling prophecy, repeated over and over again. They approach women with entitlement, disdain, disrespect, and expect them to fall at their feet, do as they’re told, serve them, and pleasure them. And when we don’t, they carry on about feminism and “modern women.” Nothing to do with feminism and “modern women” and everything to do with a misogynistic, selfish, entitled, disrespectful, and even abusive attitudes. And when women don’t accept this f*cking abhorrent behaviour, we are blamed.
So there we have it, and it’s not going away anytime soon. If you have sons, raise them to be good, respectful men who value themselves and women. Raise them to see women as equal and teach them that compassion and vulnerability are strengths. Show them what emotional regulation is. Teach them how to love themselves so they know how to love women. Do this so we don’t have to raise our daughters to always be vigilant. Do this so our daughters are safe. Do this so we can create a society that’s inclusive and equal. Do this so your sons don’t end up miserable for the rest of their lives, always trying to prove something to someone because at the core they feel worthless. Do this so we don’t end up with more dead women murdered by these men and more dead men killed by their own hand.
And lastly, I’d like to make one thing crystal clear. I love good men and there are plenty out there. I raised an incredible man in my son. Good men don’t stand idly by and watch women be treated poorly; they step in. Good men speak up. Good men understand that articles like this are not directed at them. Good men hate the manosphere as much as women. Good men don’t need to tell women they are good men because it’s obvious in their actions.
Nobody hates men more than these men hate themselves, their followers, and women. And the male loneliness epidemic grows.
Again a self-fulfilling prophecy it would seem.
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