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I have never understood why some people don’t tune into the news because it’s too upsetting or gets in the way of their happiness.
Why is it that some of us feel intensely about the plight of the world and its people, while others are able to go about their lives as if nothing is happening?
While there are some who just don’t care and deliberately put their heads in the sand, I know there are a lot of us who have the wisdom to know that tuning into too much news—constantly scrolling—is not a good way to live.
And for sure, we have to be able to give ourselves some space to tune out of the madness and tune into the pleasures of life, even if it’s just for a short time.
I am one of those who care deeply. Too deeply. I am what you call an empath. I feel others’ pain more than I want to.
But I’ve also realised that there is something else going on with me.
I’m currently writing a memoir, and so I have had to revisit my childhood, and there are memories that I would rather forget.
I grew up in a household where there was constantly arguing and fighting, and sometimes those got violent.
I didn’t know it back then, but I was in a constant state of fight-or-flight, always on edge, wondering whether the bottom of my life was going to fall away. I never felt safe.
My life taught me to be fearful, always on guard, and on the lookout for danger.
So is it any wonder I am more fearful than others about all the shit that’s going on in our world right now? The early wiring in my brain and built-up conditioning are still there, buried deep.
Knowing this has brought me some relief, because I’ve often felt that there’s something wrong with me—that I’m too intense, that I should relax like others and enjoy my life.
Now I know what’s been going on. I can see the connection.
I can tune into that young girl and tell her that I understand why she’s feeling so afraid. I can let her know that I will take care of her.
It’s perfectly normal and moral to be upset and to sometimes lose sleep over our crazy world. I wouldn’t want to not to feel. And I do believe that we should not fall asleep to what’s going on. We need to be awake.
But if you are like me and you find yourself getting too caught up and anxious, when your heart races, just know that some of us, unfortunately, have this early wiring in our bodies. It is not our fault.
Be gentle with yourself.
~
author: Linda Ford
Image: Carolina Heza on Unsplash" target="_blank">@carolinahdzz/Unsplash
author: Molly Murphy
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