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If you are disturbed by what is emerging—
if you feel rage, disgust, grief, fury in your gut—
this is not pathology.
This is humanity still intact.
If you are reacting, your nervous system is responding to injustice.
If you are horrified, something in you knows this is not how a society meant to thrive behaves.
And if you are not reacting at all—there are only a few possibilities.
Either you have known about this for a long time, and I am truly sorry it took the rest of us so long to catch up. That must have been lonely and infuriating.
Or something has gone numb. And numbness is not neutrality—it is a survival response.
This article is not here to soothe.
It is here to wake us up.
Why We Didn’t Want to Believe
For years, many of us dismissed what sounded too extreme, too dark, too unthinkable.
Trafficking. Sexual violence. Children. Rings protected by wealth and power.
We told ourselves: no human could do this.
We told ourselves: this sounds conspiratorial.
We told ourselves: this cannot be real.
I remember a conversation with a friend who tried to tell me.
I remember saying I didn’t believe it—not because I thought she was lying, but because my nervous system could not accept that a human being could fall that far.
I was wrong.
Denial is not stupidity.
It is the psyche protecting itself—until reality breaks through.
And when it does, the grief is immense.
The Making of Monsters
Monsters are not born in isolation.
They are created and protected by societies that place power, money, male dominance, and reputation above being human.
Yes—individuals can be profoundly disturbed.
Yes—some people carry deep pathology, entitlement, and lack of empathy.
But pathology alone does not create networks.
It does not create protection.
It does not create silence at scale.
What creates monsters that endure is a system that rewards domination, secrecy, and impunity.
A system that teaches:
>> Power matters more than care
>> Status matters more than truth
>> Charisma matters more than accountability
That system has a name.
It is patriarchy.
What Patriarchy Feels Like (From Inside a Woman’s Body)
Patriarchy is not an abstract theory.
It is lived reality.
It is growing up watching your father speak to your mother—and his own mother—with disrespect, sexualisation, and dismissal.
It is learning early that being female means being less safe.
It is being a young woman walking in the street while two men grab your breasts—and no one intervenes.
It is being followed in the streets of Paris, running home in fear, locking the door, calling the police—alone.
It is being a young engineer sent to a conference and isolated by a man of influence who assumes access to your body is part of the deal. It is refusing—and carrying the fear quietly.
It is sitting in a corporate office and being told you will not rise because you “do not have the charisma of a certain famous tall white male politician.” As if leadership were male by definition.
It is realising, again and again, that when something happens to a woman, the world shrugs—and expects her to adjust.
This is what it feels like when society puts men at the centre and calls it neutral.
I learned early that I was not safe being fully myself.
So I became “man-like” to be respected.
Smart. Capable. Controlled. Not too loud. Not too emotional.
A mask.
Internalised Misogyny: When The System Lives Inside Us
Patriarchy does not survive through men alone.
It survives because it moves into women.
Internalised misogyny is not stupidity.
It is adaptation.
It is survival in a system where male approval equals safety.
But at this stage of history, it has become dangerous.
I am angry—deeply angry—when I watch women laugh at misogynistic jokes to keep the peace. When they soften the truth so men do not feel uncomfortable. When they appease, manage, and soothe instead of naming injustice.
At a dinner last year, I was the only woman at the table who pointed out the misogyny of a husband’s comments. The others tried to smooth it over, make it easier for him to digest.
Appeasing men is not neutrality.
It is participation.
This Rage You Are Feeling Right Now Is Not Violence
Rage is often the body’s response to prolonged injustice and silencing.
What destroys societies is not anger.
It is denial, silence, and unchecked power.
This Is Not Just Exposure—It Is A Transition
This article is not about getting stuck in horror.
It is about moving forward.
The question is no longer “How could this happen?”
The question is: What kind of leadership and culture makes this impossible to repeat?
Patriarchal leadership feels:
>> Tight
>> Masked
>> Unfair
>> Unsafe
>> Discriminating
>> Intimidating
>> Life-constricting
Let’s envision a Post-patriarchal leadership that feels:
>> Fair
>> Regulating
>> Safe
>> Equalitarian
>> Expansive
>> Embodied
>> Authenticity is valued
>> Safe enough to bloom into whatever you desire to bloom into
I have experienced it—in women’s circles, retreats, and spaces where power is relational, accountable, and grounded in care.
Other women have felt this too. And children feel it too in circle of women and mothers.
They say they feel safe.
That is not coincidence.
That is proof of concept.
A Word To Men
If you are a man reading this and you feel defensive, numb, irritated, or tempted to dismiss it—pause. That discomfort is not the problem. This is not about blaming you for everything that is broken, nor is it an attack on your worth. It is an invitation to take responsibility for a system that has benefited men collectively while harming women and children disproportionately. You do not need to be perfect. You do need to stop denying, minimising, or outsourcing this work. The question is not whether this is comfortable—it is whether you are willing to grow up and participate in building something better.
A Call to Grow Up—What We Must Unlearn Now
This is not a manifesto for women only.
This is a call for all of us.
1. Stop normalising misogyny. Jokes, comments, dismissals are not harmless—they are training.
2. Withdraw loyalty from abusive power. Do not vote for, promote, or protect those accused of serious harm.
3. Women: stop appeasing. Silence and laughter are not safety— they are self-erasure.
4. Release beauty standards that were never designed for your freedom.
5. Parents: teach consent, emotional literacy, and courage—to all children.
6. Men: do your own work. Women are not your therapists, mothers, or moral compasses.
7. Leaders: redefine leadership as accountability, not charisma.
This is how cultures change.
My hopes
I am no longer willing to tolerate “small” acts of abuse—jokes, comments, glass ceilings, silencing, man-pleasing, appeasement. These are not small. They are the soil for monsters to emerge and thrive.
I am devoted to building a world that works for women, men, and children—including my sons.
To the younger women reading this: you are not alone. There has been a pack of wild, wise women doing this work for a long time. You feel us because the world is already different than it was 10 years ago.
Do not accept what we refused.
This is not extremism.
This is evolution.
~
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