I know after being narcissistically abused you may feel shocked, broken and literally terrified in regard to falling in love again.
Who could blame you?
Is there anything worse than having your heart and Soul devastated by someone after trying everything possible to love them?
No there isn’t.
However … I want to ask you a question …
Do you want to share your life with a conscious, healthy life-partner? One who is honest, kind, supportive and wants to grow and evolve with you?
A person who adds to your life and makes it even more possible for you to be happy and successful in your life and missions?”
Would you IF you believed it was possible?
IF you thought you could achieve this without risk of being abused and destroyed again?
IF you knew how to make this happen for real, without fear and trauma whilst knowing that you could take care of yourself EVERY step of the way, and NEVER be at risk of being abused again?
The answer would probably be “Yes!”
Stay with me on this … because I want you to know, it is my greatest mission to lead your toward REAL love – your connection with a person who has your best interests at heart, without you EVER suffering a narcissist again.
Today, in this article I want to offer you powerful tips that can forever change the way you think about opening up to love again.
Before I do – I am so excited to let you know about tomorrow … I am hosting a FREE event called “Manifest The One”. It’s a Valentine’s Day Quantum Event to help you get into alignment with your birthright of True and Real Love.
There are already thousands of people from all over the globe who have secured seats for this! Come and join in with us in this incredible LOVE-creation event!
(Please know if you can’t make it live, you can watch it later in your own time).
Where Are You At With Love?
I know you, my beautiful tribe, intimately, regarding wherever you are with “love” – because I was once there too.
Initially I was far too battered and shattered to even consider getting into another relationship … then …
As a result of my Thriver Recovery, I fell in love with being alive and starting to Thrive. I LOVED feeling safe and whole in my own body and being my Own Soul / Source connection, generating my True Self and Life!
It was glorious. Yet, I could barely even imagine wanting or needing a partner to share my life with.
If you have not yet connected to “The One”, you could find yourself anywhere between these two extremes. Or, perhaps you feel ready and really DO desire a beautiful, evolved love relationship, but don’t know how to create this goal.
In my “glory” of feeling so full and whole and truly Thriving without a partner, deep down I knew I wanted a successful life-partnership. I wanted to enjoy love and unity at this level. Yet, I had NO idea how to go forward into the next stage of manifesting “The One” because it had never previously worked.
Well now I do … specifically for those who have been narcissistically abused. I have successfully produced “the One” for myself and seen it successfully happen for many others, despite the fact that many of us were previously dating and relationship disasters!
Today, no matter how despondent or blocked (or terrified) you feel about getting into a relationship again, I hope this article inspires you to know that real love is possible for you, no matter how old you are, what you have lost or how often your heart has been broken.
(It’s going to be so much fun, because this is the information I LOVE teaching the most!)
Okay … Let’s investigate how to tackle all the “fears” you may have about this!
The Fear Of No One Shows Up Who I Am Interested In
You may have spent months, years or even decades without meeting someone who you feel even remotely interested in.
Your Inner Child is wise and knows, “Best not to have anyone interesting come along, because it will hurt again if they do.”
Quantumly this is not a big deal – I promise you this can be shifted.
Please know for now, it’s helpful to have “no potential” while you are clearing the specific traumas which are blocking you regarding opening up to love.
It’s exciting, empowering and perfect for you to be working on the traumas of what happened to you in the past, to go free from them, so that when you do call love forward, YOU will be exactly “The One” who can navigate your choices and potentials consciously, accurately and successfully.
I must share with you right here an understanding which will change Love Manifestation for you forever.
The Thriver Way is not “Law of Attraction” principles which leave you feeling empty and despondent when your vision board or visualization doesn’t deliver you “The One”.
Rather, the growth and joy of expanding into your values, truths and alignments will allow you to be confident, radiant, magnetic, and wise in your choices, as well as totally safe – loving every step of your process, even before “The One” appears.
This is such a winning combination to “open up” to love potentials (which will include people who interest you) and be safe, empowered and literally LOVE (yes LOVE) dating.
I hear you – once upon a time I was terrified of opening up to love. You won’t be when you learn how to do this step-by-step SAFELY!
Which leads us to the next point …
The Fear Of Meeting Another Narcissist
I want to grant you a little preamble here to explain …
I used to put more thought into buying a pair of shoes than starting a relationship. Regarding shoes I used to think, “These look gorgeous, but will they hurt my feet?”
In respect to relationships the consideration was, “You are smart, attractive and tall” … The … End …
Where was my consideration regarding whether I was going to be hurt?
Non-existent!
I can almost hear you say, “Melanie, how can we know that someone is going to hurt us? Of course, people put their best foot forward at the start and can pretend they are someone they are not.”
That is correct – absolutely!
So, how can we know?
By knowing how to get CLEAR about the values and truths that define the foundations for healthy relationships and knowing how to recognize these in people and even put them to the test, over a period of time, before handing over your body, Soul, heart and life.
Think of it like this – would you invest in a new car and house without mechanically and structurally having them checked out? Of course not.
I know that you never learned what constitutes a healthy relationship because I didn’t either. I was just swept up in the belief of “fluttery feelings” and “attraction”.
None of this was our fault, but we can right these mistakes now. And I promise when you do this, it will CHANGE forever the fear of wasting time, getting hurt and being stuck in a relationship with a person who has neither the desire nor the capacity to be kind, honest and caring.
The BIG tip I want to give you here is – compatible interests are negotiable.
You can have an incredibly successful relationship with someone who doesn’t have all the same interests as you. However, what is non-negotiable is ALIGNED VALUES. When you know how to get clear on your values and what constitutes healthy relationships and know how to ascertain other people’s values for real, it changes everything.
You will never again wake up next to someone thinking, “I’m attracted to you, but you are NOT a nice person.” (And then of course try to change them.)
(Clue … narcissists have ZERO ability to be this person, and you will learn HOW to pick this up very quickly!)
The Fear That I Won’t Be Attracted To Someone Decent
This is BIG!
How many of us always fell in love with the bad boys, or were turned on by the racey girls?
You may say “S/he is a great person, but I’m not attracted to them.”
You may wish you could be.
But you know you can’t.
But COULD you, if something inside you shifted to becoming healthy enough to “want” to be with a healthy person chemically?
Please don’t for one minute think that a “good person” is going to be boring! It’s not true. Good people can be dynamic, uplifting, interesting and incredibly fulfilling, and they don’t drag you into the destructive nightmare that bad people do.
But … and it’s a BIG but … you need to have done KEY inner work to release yourself from the attraction to bad people.
(As you read on you will understand why!)
I discovered all of this, healed it, and then became turned off bad people (the same as my healthy eating changed from greasy hamburgers and cigarettes to delicious organic produce) and decent people started to catch my attention.
“Authenticity” became the new sexy!
The following is a brief explanation as to what is really going on here …
All of us who have been abused have a Traumatic Inner Love Code, meaning we are attracted to the same types of people who have hurt us previously. They are familiar – they are all we have known regarding Love. We are also unconsciously trying to right the wrongs of our past – which equates to, “This time PLEASE love and care for me.”
This is why you keep replaying the same pain with the same people in different human flesh suits.
I promise you, when you know HOW to reverse this and free yourself to an organic, healthy attraction to love, you will feel turned on by good wholesome people and love spending time in their company. You will find them 10 times more interesting and entertaining than empty, flashy, and shallow narcissistic people.
Take it from me – this is such a beautiful graduation when you reach this level!
Tomorrow, in our action-packed “Manifest The One” workshop, you will be able to reverse, with a powerful Quanta Freedom Healing, the exact barriers that have been keeping you stuck on all the wrong people!
In Conclusion
There is so much more to come tomorrow, than what I have shared with you today … but here is the deal … Authentic Love is your true state and birthright. It’s who you naturally are without your limiting beliefs and traumas preventing you from experiencing it.
Who you are seeking is seeking you. Yes you … you, as you are! You are exactly the person who deserves love and support from “The One” who is right for you.
You may not believe such a person exists – but they do.
Also, it might be hard for you to believe that you can be the person who can call in, choose, and maintain healthy love – yet I promise you with specific awareness and the right tools, you CAN and WILL!
I have proven this to myself, and seen this graduation with so many people, from all walks of life, stages in life and even coming from the most traumatic and painful previous love circumstances.
No comments:
Post a Comment