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Our view of the universe is largely
determined by our experiences. It is when we are caught off guard by the
spontaneity of existence that we are most likely to respond authentically.
Events that arouse strong emotions in us or are surprising in nature can be
disquieting, for it is often in their aftermath that we discover how
profoundly our histories have shaped us. When our reactions differ from our
peers, it can be upsetting because they force us to confront the uniqueness
of our lives. When this happens, we may feel driven to
dismiss our feelings as irrational or incorrect. But reactions themselves are
neither right nor wrong. The forces that sculpted our development are not the
same forces that shaped the development of our relatives, friends,
colleagues, or neighbors. There is no reason to believe that one
person's reaction to a particular event is somehow more valid than
another's. How we respond to the constant changes taking place in
the world around us is a product of our history, a testament to our
individuality, and a part of the healing process that allows us to address
our past in a context we can grasp in the present. Life's pivotal events can provide
you with a way to define yourself as a unique and matchless being, but you
must put aside the judgments that might otherwise prevent you from gaining
insight into your distinct way of interpreting the world. Try to recognize
your feelings without categorizing or evaluating them. When you feel unsure
of the legitimacy of your reactions, remember that cultural, sociological,
spiritual, and familial differences can cause two people to interpret a
single event in widely dissimilar ways. Examining your responses can show you
that your emotional complexity is something to be valued because it has made
you who you are today. |
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