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A few days ago, someone’s actions triggered me.
I was angry. Annoyed. Frustrated. Enraged. Although that person’s behavior was upsetting and they clearly pushed my buttons, I was aware of my overreaction.
Still, my entire day was ruined. I felt like I gave away my power effortlessly and there was nothing I could do about it.
In other words, I felt helpless.
I spent my entire day thinking about what that person had done and ruminating on my negative and messy emotions that had quickly escalated.
The more I thought about my hurt feelings, the more upset I got.
After spending the majority of my day inside my head, I had enough. I wanted to stop my frustration in its tracks and move forward. But I was in the middle of an emotional shitstorm and finding a proper solution was unmanageable.
All I did was sit on the couch, take a deep breath, and say, “I’m triggered. Yep, I’m really, really, really triggered.”
My mind was quiet all of a sudden. I could no longer hear the voice inside my head that wouldn’t shut up all day long. A deep feeling of awareness washed over me and I could clearly see that I hadn’t been able to identify my triggers.
When my anger took over, I lost connection to myself. I rushed to solutions and wanted to make sense of the facts. I was lost in the messiness of my problem and had forgotten an important thing:
When we get triggered, we need to pause for a moment and validate our feelings.
I have realized that when we’re engaged in reactive behavior, we tend to cover our real, messy emotions and pretend that we’re fine. But avoiding our triggers slows down the healing process.
If we want to diminish the intensity of our internal struggles, we must be brave enough to admit to ourselves that we are hurt and triggered.
When that happens, we calm down. When we calm down, we are able to make better choices and re-evaluate the situation.
Next time you get triggered, sit with your true self. Don’t sit with your monkey mind because it will take you to ugly places.
~
author: Elyane Youssef
Image: miraalou/Instagram
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