Thursday, 22 August 2024

20 Laugh-Out-Loud Quotes for when Life makes No Sense.

 


{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}
~

A dear friend told me last weekend that after a series of personal and professional mishaps, she no longer seems to have a sense of purpose anymore.

She felt lethargic and apathetic.

After I forced her out of her home for an evening of drinks and “let’s see what else we can do,” she muttered (after four cocktails where she mixed vodka, gin, and rum) that she was ready to run away somewhere, or at the very least, “quit her job to find a bigger meaning to life.”

I nodded my head furiously in agreement and then shuddered. I knew she desperately needed her job to pay her mortgage and that she would eventually get over her slump and be okay.

After dropping her off later that evening, I went home and, as a good friend is wont to do, I decided to do a deep dive online and send her a rah-rah “Life will get better” email with a bunch of inspirational quotes. As I was almost ready to hit send, I realized with a literal yawn that if I was this bored of the email myself, how was it going to help my friend?

I thought about the typical ways we tend to boost our friends when they’re down. And then pounded the delete key on my sad, seven-year-old laptop and sent the document on its merry way into my online trash can.

Then I set about making my friend laugh out loud with a bunch of funny, nonsensical quotes that essentially said to her: It will all be okay. Life will suck but, eventually, it will get better.

And it worked for my friend. She called me an hour later laughing, told me she had decided to bake a disgustingly gooey chocolate cake, and said “Roop…Thank you for this nonsense! I have no solutions to the issues I am facing, but I had a good laugh!”

Because, folks, sometimes that is all we can do. Take life by its horns, laugh out loud, and then find a way to move on.

The following 20 quotes helped my friend, and I hope they do the same for you:

“I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” ~ Jack Whitehall

“I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” ~ Chandler Bing, “Friends”

“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” ~ Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.” ~ Dowager Countess Violet Crawley, “Downton Abbey”

“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” ~ Ace Ventura, “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective”

“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” ~ Mitch Hedberg

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” ~ Jim Carrey

“I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.” ~ Anonymous

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” ~ George Carlin

“That’s why New York is so great, though. Everyone you care about can despise you and you can still find a bagel so good, nothing else matters. Who needs love when you’ve got lox? They both stink, but only one tastes good.” ~ Midge Maisel, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”

“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.” ~ Dave Barry

“I’m not superstitious…but I am a little stitious.” ~ Michael Scott, “The Office”

“It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, ‘Say thank you. Sit up straight. Use your napkin. Close your mouth when you chew. Don’t lean back in your chair.’ Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along.” ~ Erma Bombeck

“My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.” ~ Halley Reed, “Crimes and Misdemeanors”

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” ~ Nora Ephron

“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.” ~ Oscar Wilde

“Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired.” ~ Sandra Bullock

“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” ~ American proverb

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.” ~ Mark Twain (maybe)

“Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook at 350 for 30 minutes.” ~ Anonymous

~

Even though I sent my friend quotes by Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, George Carlin, Jim Carey, and Mindy Kaling, the two anonymous quotes were her favorites!

Hence, the gooey chocolate cake she decided to bake.

To be fair, she did say, “Roop, as anonymous said, I tried fitness first to feel better. But stuffing my face with an entire cake is so much better!”

~


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