We have all had the experience of
realizing that something in our lives is not working. This knowledge can
come as a sudden realization or a nagging feeling of doubt that grows
stronger, waking us up to the fact that something needs to change. Some
people have a tendency to act rashly and make sweeping changes before
even understanding what the problem is. Other people fear change, so they
live with the uncomfortable awareness that something needs to shift but
don’t do anything about it. Between these two extreme responses lies a
middle way that can help us powerfully and gracefully change what isn’t
working.
The first step is remembering that your
life is made up of parts that belong to an interconnected whole. Changing
one thing can change everything. Because of this, small changes often
have a big effect. Sometimes much bigger changes are necessary, but the
only way to know for sure is to take the time to really understand the
problem. Examine your life in its entirety — your work, your
relationships, where you live — and determine what specifically is not
functioning the way you would like. Once you have figured out the
problem, write it down on a piece of paper. For example, “I am not happy
with my relationship,” or “I don’t like my apartment.” The next step is
to figure out the adjustment you would like to make and how you can go
about making this change.
If you are unhappy with your
relationship because you spend too much or not enough time with your
partner, you may want to discuss this problem with them and come up with
a compromise. On the other hand, if you realize your relationship is not
working to such a degree that it needs to end, begin working through that
process. Writing down the truth can be a powerful catalyst for change.
The key to making changes that work is
to accept the necessity of change as part of life. As we change, we may
find the need to fine-tune our relationships, work, and living
situations. Our lives are living, breathing entities that reflect our
dynamic selves.
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