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Whether we’re married or in a committed relationship, wondering if we’re on the right track is normal.
After all, the divorce rate keeps rising steadily every year, and breakups have become common more than ever before.
For those of us who are in a committed relationship, separation frightens us. It gets even scarier when we see married friends parting ways after being together for many years.
And so we try harder. We buy self-help books about love and romance and read articles about the secret to a long-lasting relationship.
While it’s normal to be afraid of going our separate ways, we need to keep in mind that romantic relationships and marriages need skills—mental and emotional.
The years that are ahead of us are determined by the effort and time we put into ourselves and our relationship. Even if we don’t know it, some signs are unmistakable. They guarantee the longevity of our romantic ties and decrease the level of our stress and fear.
Whether we do these things intuitively or accidentally, we can rest assured that they will preserve our love.
1. We’re happy—in good times and bad times. Happiness is vital and we might feel it regularly in our relationship. But the question is when do we feel it? Is our happiness dependent on certain “positive” behaviors and situations? We will all go through a rough patch every once in a while. There will be disagreements, big fights, and disappointment. But beneath our temporary sadness, our happiness will be steady. A truly successful couple will remain happy despite the difficulties they might face. Their unwavering happiness is unconditional.
2. We know how to end an argument. We might not always be able to control our unpleasant actions and reactions (which generally lead to squabbles), but we should know at least how to prevent them. Successful couples know each other’s love languages and act on them. Even when their ego takes over, they’re able to come back to their center and calm themselves. Being right is not their goal; the health of their relationship is what matters most to them.
3. We fulfill each other’s needs. We all have different emotional and physical needs. Just like we need food and water to survive, we also need emotional receptivity and accessibility to stay engaged in our relationship. We are definitely going in the right direction if we listen to our partner’s needs and make sure to meet them. Even if we can’t fulfill them, we understand their importance and ensure to communicate with our partner about finding another alternative or solution.
4. We develop self-love. Loving ourselves first is a skill that many couples underestimate. When we focus on ourselves (not just on our partner), things ultimately improve in our relationship. Self-love reduces our possible people-pleasing habits and allows us to receive love from our partner naturally and effortlessly. Those who don’t love themselves enough though might approach relationships differently and receive love only because they need it—not because they genuinely want it.
There are many other signs that can predict the success of a relationship. But if you’re inherently happy, know how to prevent fights, listen to your partner’s needs, and constantly work on self-love, then you’re on the right track.
~
author: Elyane Youssef
Image: Ilie Micut-Istrate/Unsplash
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