{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}
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I met him when I was 26 years old and we married at 28.
By 42, I was a suicide widow and single mom to two children.
Post-loss, I found profound healing in somatic therapy, yoga, meditation, and other spiritual practices.
But it was writing, where I found solace as a child whenever life upset me, that articulated the trauma held stuck in my tissues and cells, as explained by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score. The stream of consciousness writing I began practicing daily opened up emotional blockages and grief I didn’t know I held.
In the course of my self-prescribed writing therapy, I not only met a woman who specifically worked with people to “heal through writing,” I learned about non-dominant hand writing.
What is Non-Dominant Hand Writing?
It is the practice of writing out reflective questions with your dominant hand (in my case, my right hand) and then switching the pen or pencil to your non-dominant hand (my left hand) to formulate the words and thoughts in answer to the question.
The purpose of this, research shows, is that non-dominant hand writing not only forces you to slow down and write with intention, as opposed to writing from auto-pilot, it also allows greater access to the right hemisphere brain functions such as feelings, intuition and inner wisdom, regardless if a person is left-hand dominant already.
So at 45 years old, I was encouraged to write a letter from my 55-year-old self, 10 years fast-forwarded, using only my non-dominant hand.
Coincidentally, I found this letter last week and wanted to share it in the hopes that the message inspires anyone who needs it. Or perhaps it stirs curiosity to try non-dominant hand writing for others looking to experience a body-centered knowing for themselves.
What would 55-year-old Lisa want me to know? [Written with my right hand]
It is going to be okay. Better than okay. It won’t always be easy or happy but it will be okay.
Time will go faster than you realize. Stay present to every moment as much as you can.
Appreciate the sad moments so you appreciate the joyful ones even more.
Your social circle will get smaller and in the process, grow richer. Don’t be afraid of that. Size doesn’t matter. At least not here.
You will find your dream home full of space, love, warmth, and family. In fact, I’m writing to you from the reading room you’ve always wanted, drinking the Americano from the Espresso machine in your kitchen. (It’s delicious!)
I want you to know that love will find you again. Be patient. Nurture your kids and yourself first. Sometimes there is an order to things that need to fall into place.
Travel will happen! It really took off a couple years ago when you hit 52. [I’m currently 51, so I’m excited!] The world adventures—they’re coming! I know you’re restless but timing is key, to everything.
Between now and 55, you grow a lot. Growth is not linear. Life journeys are rarely linear but you know that already. Sometimes it will feel like you take 10 steps forward, only to fall 50 steps back. And then you catapult 1,000 steps ahead. It’s quite the ride! Nothing worse than you’ve already experienced, just other challenges along the way. You’ll see.
Slow down every chance you get. Speeding through life won’t get you anywhere faster. If anything, you’ll just hit dead ends harder and sooner. There is no point in that. Be gentle with yourself.
Your surroundings will quiet down—literally and metaphorically. You will value the quiet so much it will become mandatory in your life.
By then, you will make peace with your husband’s death, which will contribute to your inner quiet. Leading up to it, you will cry and mourn at deeper levels and it will be the breakdown your soul is needing. Not dramatic, just cleansing. I look forward to that for you.
Remember through all of it, it will be okay.
[Written with my left hand]
To find and re-visit this letter was awe-inspiring because it proved to be a tangible reminder that when we get quiet, intentional, and choose to listen, our best encouragement, wisdom, and healing can come from within. It just needs to channel out.
I can’t wait to meet up with 55-year-old me.
~
author: Lisa Kumagai
Image: Author's own
Editor: Nicole Cameron
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