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I’m a writer, and guess what?
I don’t always feel like writing.
People think I can write effortlessly and daily without mental interruptions. I imagine they think there’s a writing button in my mind that is always on, or rarely switches off.
The truth is writing is hard. Writers face daily interruptions that block their flow. We struggle with endless thoughts and obstacles that make the process of writing taxing.
Even if daily interruptions are minimal, inspiration doesn’t always strike. So, yeah…we’re either mentally burnt out or feeling uninspired, and the pressure to keep writing—because, hey, “we’re writers”—is unsustainable and demanding.
Besides fatigue, writer’s block, and the pressure to write, the other reason that writers can’t always write is because sometimes writing feels impossible. If you’re a writer, you know how it feels to sit, stare at a blank page, and…write nothing.
Your mind suddenly goes blank. You feel that all your thoughts temporarily stop, and no matter what or how you write, your words sound empty. But, you keep showing up. You keep trying to regain mental energy. You give yourself a much-needed break. But, nada.
I struggle with the above on a weekly basis. When I go through ups and downs, my writing skills take a hit. However, throughout the years, I’ve realized there’s only one thing that brings back the spark when writing feels impossible.
It’s not discipline.
It’s not commitment.
It’s not sitting for hours.
It’s not journaling.
And it’s not “write badly.”
It’s me.
The me who writes effortlessly is in touch with her emotions.
The me who feels that writing is impossible is emotionally numb. I can’t help but notice the inner paralysis that takes over me when I’m not able to write.
When I lose connection with myself, I lose connection with my pen. And implementing all the popular writing tips out there just doesn’t work if I’m in shutdown mode. And so, I breathe. I reengage with my emotions, even if they’re ugly (especially if they’re ugly). I experience my joy and pain all over again so I can make sense of my inner world.
When writing feels impossible, I tell myself that slowing down and regaining mindfulness is possible. I stop to observe what’s happening within me and around me. I don’t filter my life’s current situations; I see them for what they are.
I look for patterns, loops, and perspectives. I allow myself to feel everything because I know I’ll find a word or two among my messy emotions. My internal compass never lies. It guides my hand and my pen—and I just need to trust her enough.
So, how to write when you can’t write? Reconnect with your needs. Find clarity. When this imminent reconnection happens, words flow.
~
author: Elyane Youssef
Image: Alexey Demidov/Pexels
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