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Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed.
When I feel like a hot mess, I like to check in with myself and look for the problems that might be burdening me.
As a perfectionist, I expect everything to fall beautifully into place, including my self-love practice.
But I know that’s not possible. No matter how hard I try to dissipate my messiness, it always creeps up on me. Sometimes I feel like it doesn’t go away at all. It seems that it’s an unshakable part of my life that I can’t simply tuck away.
My messiness shows up in vulnerable moments and on overwhelming days. It catches me off guard and makes me feel like a failure—like I’m not good enough. It takes away my self-confidence and lowers my self-worth.
And so I sink deeper into despair, thinking I should abolish my messy parts to live a happy, stress-free life.
Recently, I have come to realize that my happiness has nothing to do with my messiness. How messy I am right now doesn’t dictate how happy I can be. In fact, they can perfectly coexist.
Although I understand that life is messy and imperfect, I keep ignoring the fact that I am messy and imperfect in my own way too. Perfection will not protect me from self-judgment. I can never protect me from me.
The only thing I can do, however, is allow myself to shrink and expand. If I don’t, I can never learn and grow.
You see, being a mess means being human. And the problem isn’t the presence of our messiness; the problem is how we choose to see it. We can love our messiness only if we are brave enough to dive into our emotional clutter and accept what we’re going to encounter.
Be it anxiety, fear, anger, grief, moodiness, gloom, or any other negative or unpleasant state, we need to understand that we might not be able to change it; we can, however, see it for what it is and not force ourselves to feel something more positive—something that doesn’t exist right now in our reality.
There’s beauty in our messiness, and as long as it’s not hurting someone else, know that it’s okay.
Here are a few steps we can all take to fall in love with our messy selves a little more:
>> Understand that your annoying mental and emotional states are only temporary.
>> Accept how you feel without pretending to be someone else right now.
>> Be patient with yourself as you navigate difficult moments.
>> Focus on progress—not failure.
>> Accept the fluctuating nature of human beings, which is totally normal.
>> Commit to remaining aware and mindful so you can spot the lessons that might be in store for you.
~
author: Elyane Youssef
Image: lauraklinke_art/Instagram
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