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If you are someone with complex trauma who grew up in a chaotic, abusive, or gaslighting home, you may feel deeply triggered right now and not fully understand why. Or you do understand, and don’t know what to do with it.
I get it.
We are living in a world that mirrors the environments many trauma survivors grew up in: unpredictability, violence, denial of reality, and the constant message that what you see with your own eyes is not true. That kind of environment wreaks havoc on the nervous system.
I am a licensed clinical social worker. I am a trauma therapist. And I am also someone who lives with CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). I believe that in moments like this, neutrality is not only insufficient, it is harmful. So I am speaking.
What is happening in our country with ICE is horrifying. We are watching people be harmed and killed in the streets and then being told that what we witnessed did not happen. That is not political. That is psychological violence. It is gaslighting on a national scale.
Before I even get to the idea that “therapists should be neutral,” I have to be human.
My heart aches. I am angry. I am sad. I am horrified. My nervous system is overwhelmed. I cry easily. I am a person watching the government use the same tactics I’ve personally experienced in traumatic relationships and situations myself: fear, control, denial, and distortion of reality.
I will not share details, but I will say this clearly: living through this feels like being dropped back into a CPTSD nightmare.
Now let’s talk about neutrality.
There is a dialectic here. Therapists are neutral, and we are not.
I am neutral in that I will not judge you. When you walk into my office or log into a session, I assume you are doing the best you can with what you have. I believe you. I support you. I cheer for you. I work to create a space where you are safe, respected, and trusted.
But I am not neutral about harm.
I will never be neutral when you tell me you were abused, neglected, assaulted, or betrayed. I will never be neutral about trauma. I will respond with compassion, empathy, and clarity: what happened to you was not okay. You did not deserve it. You did not cause it. You did not invite it.
That is not neutrality. That is humanity.
For years we were taught that politics should stay out of therapy. But once politics becomes about governing bodies, safety, identity, and survival, it is already in the therapy room. I cannot work with a single marginalized person without it being present.
So here is what you can expect from me:
I believe in bodily autonomy.
I believe in your right to make medical decisions with your doctor.
I believe love is love and should never be regulated by the state.
I believe queer, trans, straight, single, coupled, throupled, and any other variation of families are valid and deserving of dignity.
I believe gender identity belongs to the person living it.
I believe reproductive choice is a human right.
And I believe what ICE is doing in Minnesota and across this country is terrifying and must stop.
That does not mean I cannot hold space for people with differing beliefs. It does mean I will not hold space for beliefs that justify harm.
If you need a place to process trauma, fear, grief, and rage at what is happening in this world, I am here.
If you are seeking a place to justify violence, dehumanization, or state-sanctioned cruelty, I am not the right therapist for you.
I will not tell you to turn off the news and pretend everything is fine. I will help you regulate your nervous system so you can survive reality without drowning in it. I will not minimize what you see. It is that bad. Your reactions make sense.
I cannot fix the world. But I can sit with you in it.
I can help you grieve.
And I can grieve with you.
I can help you feel less alone.
I can help you remember that your trauma is not too much, and neither are you.
I am in it with you.
~
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