I love to write…when I feel like writing.
I love to write when it flows and the words move through me, effortlessly, without thought, like they’re streaming themselves together, forming sentences I know I didn’t consciously put together.
I love writing when it feels like something has to be written; when I feel that soft inner tug, the nudge, the knowing that something wants to be written.
I like to write, but I don’t have to write.
I don’t need it.
I’d be okay with letting it go completely, if it felt like that was what was right. If I no longer loved it or it no longer resonated. If it no longer felt like it was meant for me or that I was meant to do it.
I like that feeling, that knowing I have within me.
There was once a time when I was so attached to seeing myself as a writer that the thought of not wanting to write felt disorienting. It was a lens through which I’d always seen myself.
But over the years, I’ve softened, relaxed—let go of the part of me that was attached to seeing myself in a certain way, in needing to live up to a vision I had in my head of who I am, and of needing that to remain constant.
I can’t imagine never wanting to write again, but if that were to happen, I’d be okay with it.
I just want to do what feels right to me, honor myself and be true to myself in each moment.
There may be certain things we feel called to do, things we know we’re meant to do, that feel natural, effortless, almost inevitable—and we can do those things, flow with them, put our energy into them. But we can also remain detached from needing those things, and from needing those things and feelings to remain constant or to look a certain way.
For me, the most important thing, always, is to honor ourselves—to honor what is true for us, what feels right to us, in each moment.
We can do the things we want to do, that we feel we’re meant to do, with lightness, with softness—and we can do it without getting attached to those things.
When we get attached to the ways we view ourselves, we limit ourselves.
It can be too easy for us to cling to ideas and thoughts of who we are, to try to live up to ideas that no longer resonate with us, and when we do this, we cause ourselves suffering.
But if we can let go of needing to see ourselves in a certain way, if we can let go of needing certain things to be a certain way, we can find lightness and ease and space.
The key is turning inward, connecting within ourselves, and doing what feels right to us.
The most important thing is always doing what feels right to us.
A question we can ask ourselves in any moment:
What feels right to me?
~
author: Lisa Erickson
Image: Bayram Musayev/Pexels
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