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I tend to dwell on anything and everything.
My repetitive, intrusive thoughts make me feel safe. They make me feel okay when I’m not. Believe it or not, they bring me relief and take away my pain.
The funny thing is, I know they are the main source of my distress. I realize how stupid and irrational it is to hang on to something that isn’t even tangible.
Then why do I overthink obsessively?
The truth is I want certainty. I want a definite answer—right here, right now. I seek a way out…an exit that puts an end to all the confusion in my mind. And so the only way to make sure that disappointment doesn’t plague my life is to overthink.
Is overthinking helpful? No. Do I know how unhelpful it is? Yes. Do I do it anyway? Yes, yes, and yes.
If you’re an overthinker like me, you may know by now that you want solutions badly. I know I do. But my mind has a funny way of showing me what truly matters. Instead of offering solutions, it creates mazes and barriers.
That’s exactly how I get stuck in a loop. I start focusing on unnecessary, excessive thoughts and repeat the same cycle of toxic thoughts. Instead of moving closer to the truth, I move closer to worry and anxiety.
The other day, instead of dwelling on my thoughts, I asked myself this question:
Is there something I can do about this?
There was a moment of silence in my mind and a sharp awareness I had never felt before. Suddenly, I started looking for solutions and shifted my focus to the present moment. I didn’t solve all my problems that day, but I did find a way out.
The problem is we need immediate answers. Our worry and fear pressure us and influence our decision-making skills. So if we want to find real solutions, we have to find the right tools first.
The one and only tool that can help us focus on the present moment is mindfulness. When we are mindful, we notice when our mind gets stuck in a repetitive loop. We stop. We breathe. We genuinely ask ourselves what’s in our control and what’s not.
What can you control?
What can you do?
And can you do it?
This simple question moves us from a state of reactivity to taking action. Even if our challenges aren’t immediately resolved, our mind tends to rest when we give it what it seeks.
~
author: Elyane Youssef
Image: stayhereforu/Pexels
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