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I’m not someone who believes love is hard.
(Relationships? Well, that’s another story…)
For me, love, as a feeling, is easy.
Falling in love? Being in love? Loving people and places and things and all the intense sensations that go along with that?
I could do that all day.
But love as an action?
Well, that’s where things get a little more difficult. At least for me, and maybe for all of us.
Because the act of love, and our ability to share that love with those around us, requires more from us than just a feeling. More than just a warmth in our belly, a buzzing in our brain, and a swell in our hearts.
It requires time. It requires effort. It requires work.
And it requires something that I think so many of us struggle with daily.
I came across a quote recently from author Yrsa Daley-Ward that explores that struggle, that hard part of love, so beautifully:
“Love is just paying attention without rushing…”
Because how can we love anything when we can’t even slow down enough to truly see it? To notice it? To appreciate it? To admire it?
To remember why we fell in love with it in the first place?
And this isn’t just about our romantic partners. It’s about us, as people who deserve love. It’s about our friends, our family, our pets, our hobbies, our job. The food we crave. The places we miss. The weather that calms us. The music that thrills us. The art that inspires us.
So much about love, as an action, requires us to focus, to be present, to stop interrupting that feeling with distractions and addictions and time sucks. To stop disassociating on our phones.
To do one thing at a time.
To love one thing fully in that moment.
To kiss or write or stare or eat or touch or listen with undivided attention.
To allow the warmth in our belly, the buzzing in our brain, and the swell in our heart to take over, without judgement or interruption. Without thinking about the things we should be doing or the tasks we’re not crossing off our list or the time that could be spent elsewhere.
To just be where we are with what or who we desire…
This is the hardest way to love. But it’s also the only way that matters.
~
author: Nicole Cameron
Image: Alexander Mass/Unsplash
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