Imagine for a moment that you’re in the middle of a typical day. It’s an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, you’re running an errand or you’re dropping your kids off at school or you’re just arriving at work, when all of a sudden, a black sedan pulls up alongside you and stops. Secret service agents step out and tell you that your hero, your most admired public figure, has asked to speak with you. Before you can quite process it, you’re being whisked away in the posh sedan.
When you arrive, this person greets you warmly, like an old friend. They tell you they need your ideas, you’re the only person they trust. They hand you a special phone so they can reach you whenever they want your advice, or simply to talk. They ask you to dine with them several nights a week, and they even had a guest room prepared so you can stay close when they’re in town.
Does it sound like the plot of a movie? Probably, but stick with me.
The first few days, you’d feel overwhelmed, life would feel unreal. But here’s the truth: very quickly, you’d settle into the role. And that’s what I want you to imagine next. You’re now a significant part of this person’s life, you are visible, you are influential, you have an impact. Really imagine it. Now ask yourself these questions:
Would you still be close with the same friends?
Would you still come home to the same person?
Would you still show up to your job?
Would you still value the same things you value today?
If someone asked who you are, would you describe the person you are now? If not, who would you describe?
I love this thought experiment, because it exposes something true about all of us. According to Kabbalah, everything we want comes from one of two places. Every desire is guided either by the Creator or by the ego. We each carry these two voices: one that calls us to share, to give, to connect, and one that pulls us toward the desire to receive for ourselves alone.
I sometimes catch myself in the middle of wanting something and ask: where did this come from? Is this purpose-driven or did this arise from the illusion of the material world? It’s not always a comfortable inquiry, but it changes everything because the wanting is not the problem. Desire is what gives you life. It’s what gets you up in the morning; it’s what gives you a sense of purpose. Understanding where our wanting, our desire, comes from are very important.
It brings to mind one very common tale. The actor who lands the first big role, becomes a star, and then completely changes. They are suddenly a different person, disregarding the people who supported them, and treating everyone else as though they are beneath them. What happened? Fame arrived, money arrived, status arrived, and the desire that began as a dream to share their art and talents changed hands. It stopped coming from the place of sharing and started coming from the ego.
This is, of course, an extreme example and it rarely shows up that dramatically for the rest of us. But it’s the same mechanism. A promotion, a windfall, even a new car can shift our consciousness without our noticing. There’s an old story that even among the street sweepers, there’s always one who’s a little proud that he has the best broom. We’re all prone to it. But a new title is not real change. It’s external. And every time we let an external thing change how we treat people and what we value, we place another layer between ourselves and the Light of the Creator.
Which brings to mind a parable that I love…
A young shepherd boy was busy tending his fields when he was called in by his father. His father explained to him that he had been chosen by God and anointed by Samuel to one day replace Saul as King of Israel. After receiving this truly incredible message, David simply went back to his flock. Soon after, David was summoned to play his lyre before the King. Saul found that David’s playing was the only thing that would soothe his depression and so he frequently called David to play for him. When David was called to the King he would go and when he was not he would go back to his flock in the fields. David was now the King’s favorite and, as the original message went, the anointed future King chosen by God himself. Things had changed!
Yet, David still tended his sheep and still considered himself a shepherd.
David didn’t let his position change him, his desire stayed rooted where it began, in his connection to the Creator. And that connection is exactly what allowed him to grow into everything he was meant to become. Every time we let even the smallest blessing change how we behave, we build one more layer between ourselves and the Light.
So here’s what I’d offer you. Don’t try to want less. Just notice where your wanting is coming from. If you get stuck, a quick way to discern between a soul desire and the desire of ego is to pay attention to how it feels. Do you feel expansive and clear? Or do you feel an urgency, a subtle forceful energy? If it’s the latter, it’s likely attached to ego. This isn’t grounds for punishment but for gentle evaluation.
When you reach for something, pause and ask: is this the voice that wants to share, or the voice that wants to receive for the self alone? You don’t have to do anything with the answer yet. Just start to notice. That noticing is where real change begins. Desire is a gift from the Creator. When we use it to radically give and share, we are living our true purpose.
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