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I’ve been sober for three and a half years now—and I’ve never been this content in my entire life.
In April of 2023, I wondered if I could realistically fill my days with other activities and hobbies if I ever made the choice to give up beer and weed.
What I actually found on the other side of all the haze and confusion was something raw and real. I slowly began to see how beautiful life was when I wasn’t filling my body and mind with literal poisons.
No one ever tells you how utterly gut-wrenching the process of getting sober is.
No one ever prepares you for the mood swings, the highs and lows, the tears, the frustration, the anger, and the regrets.
But you know what I finally realized?
I’m not going to be here forever. And to live the rest of my life in anguish, suffering in silence, is no longer an option. I have chosen my peace of mind over chaos, a tranquil heart over agony, and nourishing my soul over staying in a quagmire of my own making.
Here are the eight revelatory discoveries I made in my three and a half year sober journey:
1. I realized how much time I gained once I stopped “partying” all the time.
I don’t want to ruminate over the wasted hours, days, months, and years anymore. What’s done is done. If hindsight is truly 20/20, it’s clear that I never needed to fill my time with empty activities that led me into a brick wall every single time.
What a wonderful feeling to wake up every day clean and sober—and not needing to nurse a hangover!
2. My relationships deepened because I learned how to connect with people without a drink in my hand.
Why didn’t I trust myself enough to just be the real, authentic me? I was afraid, that’s why.
I always thought a few pints of beer and a couple of joints would give me the protection and armour I needed to feel like I belonged. What a crock! It took me over 20 years to realize that I didn’t need to perform or people-please—I just needed to love who I was.
3. I discovered that feelings come and go, and I could ride out uncomfortable emotions without numbing them.
This revelation was huge for me. I never wanted to feel pain, so I drank and smoked weed to avoid feeling it altogether. That was 20 years of pain, and none of these mind-altering substances were ever the answer. In fact, I always felt so much worse after imbibing or smoking.
As human beings, we are meant to feel every emotion on the spectrum, and grow through what we go through. How else do we evolve and mature and learn our hardest lessons?
4. My physical energy and sleep quality improved dramatically.
I have never felt so clear-headed and tranquil in all of my years on Earth. I have wonderful energy for a woman in her 50s, I now sleep 7-8 hours without waking up in a cold sweat, I have a beautiful puppy who keeps me alert and grounded, and I feed my body the nutrients and fluids it needs to live a productive and healthy life.
The booze and the drugs had stolen all the goodness and vitality from my existence. This was reason enough to give up all the garbage forever.
5. I have saved thousands of dollars.
Spending my hard-earned money on experiences that nourish me makes much more sense than watching my dollars vanish in a weekend. I would probably shudder if I calculated the amount of cash I wasted over 20 years. So now, instead of looking back and feeling regret for pouring my funds into empty promises, I look forward to spending my money on new adventures, travel, and good food.
The idea is to make memories that I’ll actually remember.
6. I trust myself again, because I’m keeping the promise to stay sober.
No one needs to congratulate me on my success, though it is nice to hear that people are proud of me. It’s much more important for me to honor myself for a job well done—every single day. And when I commit to my journey in sobriety, I have a true appreciation for the little things. For instance, I experience so much joy simply by waking up, brewing my first cup of coffee, and watching the sunrise.
When I trust myself, it’s easier to trust in others.
7. I’ve discovered what true enjoyment looks like because alcohol isn’t driving the experience.
I recently went on a solo trip to Las Vegas, the city known for its extravaganza of food, alcohol, and chaotic nightlife. For the first time in my life, I was able to observe all the mayhem around me from a place of pure contentment and joy. I had such a marvelous time being sober in a city renowned for its high-energy entertainment.
And in no way did I miss the idea of having a drink in my hand so I could feel part of the masses. What a liberating feeling!
8. I gained a quiet mind that wasn’t constantly weighed down by anxiety.
Little did I know that being the real me was the quickest route to a calm outlook and improved perspective. I like to call this current stage of my life, “The Quiet Era.” I am happiest being home on a weekend making meals, cuddling with my dog, watching movies, and listening to uplifting music.
It honestly feels utterly fantastic living a sober life!
I can’t stress enough how my life has transformed for the better. If you had told me three and a half years ago where I’d be today, I never would have believed you. Living a sober life has truly been my greatest achievement, and it still feels surreal to see how much light, peace, and clarity sobriety has brought me.
I used to think survival was the goal, but living fully in my own skin—without alcohol or drugs—has turned out to be the real miracle.
~
author: Stephanie Mezei
Image: Author's own
Editor: Nicole Cameron
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