Reclaim Your Will (DM)

 

As some of us struggle with, or abandon, idealistic resolutions we make at the turn of the new year, we may conclude that we lack willpower or self-discipline and wonder why we don't drop those things that don't serve our health. Maybe we reflect on a phase or high-point in our life when we had it "all together."  But as the saying goes, "Trying to have it all together is like trying to eat once and for all."   Life doesn't work that way — it's an ongoing process, a series of moments — two steps forward, one step back as we try, fail, learn, and evolve. Each new moment is a new opportunity to say yes or say no as we see fit.   If you aren't doing something you think you "should" do, maybe you don't really want to do it. If that's the case, no problem — you're doing what you want to do and not doing what you don't (really) want to do.    Just keep in mind that small gestures, little actions, can make a big difference. But first, accept where you are and who you are right now. Ideals, as I've noted before, are what we can dream about or strive toward, but reality is how we are right now.   Consider that what we do is who we are — what you actually say and do is how you present yourself to the world. The world, and people around us, don't really care about what we happen to be feeling or thinking — they only hear and see what we say and what we do.    And again — even a small change can make a big difference.   Want to quit drinking so much coffee? Okay, then finish only half of the last cup. Or schedule a cup later. Or drink only decaf after 2 pm.  Want to eat fewer sweets? Then eat what you like but only take one bite of that pastry or super-sweet granola bar and dispose of the rest.   Before we get too righteous or even puritan, bear in mind that saying:  "Giving up sugar and sex and alcohol and other pleasures doesn't necessarily make us live longer — it just feels like it."    Then there's a note I received from a friend, who said that he'd just read an article that was really helpful:  "The article said that 'the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started' — so I looked around the house and noted the things that I hadn't finished . . . and earlier today I finished off a bottle of red wine and a bottle of white, some weed and Valium, a cigarette and a box of chocolates. It worked; I feel so much better!"   So while we're drawing on self-discipline and willpower, let's be gentle with ourselves and keep our sense of humor while developing more healthful habits that support our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.     As actress-singer Julie Andrews once said, "Some people view discipline as a chore, but for me, discipline sets me free." And if you want to progress toward your 'best you,' I suggest that you choose one of two approaches:   1. Find a way to quiet your mind, create empowering beliefs and positive self-talk, find your focus and affirm your power to free your emotions and visualize positive outcomes so that you can develop the confidence to generate the courage to find the determination to make the commitment to feel sufficiently motivated to do whatever it is you need to do. OR: 2. Just do it. (Because life always comes down to what we do over time.) The choice is yours. I do what I can each day (with some days better than others), balancing a healthful sense of discipline with self-kindness and compassion. I also keep in mind the following words: