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Wednesday 26 December 2018
Profit
"In freeing people . . . our country's blessing will also come, for profit follows righteousness." Senator Albert Beveridge
Profit is more than financial benefit or material wellbeing. For the recovering alcoholic or drug addict, it is being aware of life, feeling feelings, and having the capacity for a relationship with God, self, and others. But financial benefit is also part of spirituality.The blessing of money and economic stability is part of God's love and trust. This gift of freedom involves responsibility and stewardship. With money and profit, not only am I able to enjoy creative comforts, but I can also help make the lives of others creative. A responsible use of money is part of my recovery program and has become one of the joys of my spiritual awakening.
Let Your blessing of money in life help me to bless others.
On this day of your life
I believe God wants
you to know ...
... that the reason so
much of humanity commemorates
this day is that so much
of humanity seeks to give and
receive love.
During this holy time,
know that all times are holy, that
every religion holds truth, that
each tradition is sacred,
and that it is in the
simple sharing of love that we make
our beliefs come alive,
and our dreams come true.
Let this Christmas Day
remind us that Christ came to
invite us to offer love to
all humankind, and to open the
door of God's kingdom to
every soul.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Gift of Winter (OM)
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There is a quiet humility about the earth in the winter months, as animals and people retreat inside to do their deep work.
In fall, the earth begins the process of releasing all the
things she has been holding onto throughout spring and summer, and by midwinter
she has let everything go. She sits clean and undecorated in her simplicity,
free of the frenzy of life that defines her in the warmer seasons. There is a
quiet humility about the earth in the winter months, as animals and people
retreat inside to escape the wet and sometimes freezing cold that takes hold.
Inside our homes we create abundance and warmth in response to being
effectively kicked indoors by the dark and cold that permeate the outdoors.
We burn fires in fireplaces and make heavy, hot foods to keep our bodies warm and insulated. We may find ourselves sleeping longer hours and yearning for downtime, just like the animals deep inside their caves and warrens taking a winter-long nap. Even if we live in a warmer climate, the longer nights and shorter days have the same effect on our cycles. If we surrender to this time as nature intended, we allow ourselves to slow down, sleep more, and lower the volumes on our busy minds. At the same time, we crave company in our dwellings, and the insulated warmth of the hearth tends to bring people together, creating more warmth and fostering connections that last through the coming year. We laugh, eat, and talk, sleep, or catch up on reading, while outside our windows the earth grows dark earlier and stays cold longer, accepting as always of the process of change and her place within it. We might remember to learn from her as she so gracefully surrenders to the emptiness that precedes all form, the peace that precedes activity, the darkness that precedes the light. For everything she gives and teaches, we might offer a blessing, extending a goodly portion of the gratitude of this season her way, holding her in our hearts and thanking her for our very lives. |
CoDA Weekly Reading
There was a time when the holidays were about lights, and candy, and wonder, and anticipation. We were *commanded* to be giddy over the religious overtones of the season. And to keep the codependent peace, we outwardly acquiesced. But in our hearts, it was really the toys and the big fat man – the true lord of childhood – that actually counted.
Time elapsed, and like so many others, I was dismayed and disillusioned to find that our toy lord was just another fairytale sold to us by Corporate America. A mere concoction endorsed by our parents to keep us in line. As the jaded wisdom of youth set in, the holiday season – like so many other occasions – became just another excuse to indulge in debauchery. Dreams and wonder were replaced by drinking and whoring. Just a midweek weekend, snow and good tidings be damned.
These newfound holiday distractions did nothing to “cure” my codependence, but so beguilingly did they cover it up, with quick-release happiness and longer lasting headaches, that I didn’t have to worry about it during the festivities.
And then parenthood soberly came along. But with offspring came a reminder of what the holidays truly could be—should one keep wonder in their heart—even if the dust of adulthood tarnished its shine. Sadly, these new creatures entrusted to me only served to further distract from healing from my codependency. The saddest distraction mind you, as my three deserved a healthy parent, versus one merely “surviving life instead of living it.”
Time again marched on, and as the snow is drawn to the evergreen, I was forced to realize that I too had once again been drawn to a narcissistic partner. Being a perfectionist to boot, I chose the mother of all narcissists (pun only partially intended). One who toiled tirelessly to tear my children from me in a final effort to exercise control, presumably governing the “me” that others believed themselves to see. Had I recognized my codependence earlier on, maybe I would’ve had the tools to stop this eventuality from occurring. Or maybe not. A nagging, pain-filled teeter-totter thought, now 4+ years a boarder in my brain.
But as we’re reminded in Steps 1 and 3, it is not until we recognize that our life is out of control that we can begin to have our Higher Power “take the wheel,” so to speak. And part of this is also acknowledging that the better we are at distracting ourselves from our condition, the harder They must work towards showing us this truth. In my case, my Higher Power had to work double-digits overtime in order to provide this blessing.
I found myself stripped bare, fully ostracized by a life that I had worked so hard to construct and control. But I now know this had to occur in order to show me that what I was building was a codependent house of cards, while all along my God had planned for me a mansion.
In short, it took the loss of everything – of life itself – to show me that I’d never been living it to the potential it deserved. I’d spent 40-some years re-gifting my life to damned near anyone else who would take it from me, regardless of their care for it afterwards.
Through CoDA, I am now on the road to recovery. Just typing those words causes my soul to gasp, as it’s something I never thought I would do for myself. Something I never believed I deserved. It’s a present long overdue, and one that requires meticulous and self-care-filled unwrapping in order to discover its true worth.
“Seasonal depression” is far too generous a term to describe what those of us who suffer from it actually labor through. And I still struggle with the holiday season: with the knowledge that it will never again be one that sees me gushing over my children’s joy. One that will never again find me living it’s bliss through others or through distractions.
But through my recovery process, I am finally able to once again feel the wonder and the anticipation of the season. Anticipation of a continuing relationship with both my Higher Power and my authentic self. One where I can finally embrace the coming of a new, light-filled life ahead. One that has been planned for me to celebrate in all along.
Troy S - 12/19/18
Buddhist Insight on How to Deal with our Emotions.
39Do you love this article?Show the author your support by hearting.
In the past, I had no idea how to work with my emotions.
In fact, I knew little about them. Whenever something upsetting happened, I poured all my energy into changing the outer factors, and I paid little attention to my internal reaction.
Buddhism has introduced me to my internal world. It has taught me that my mind contributes to my experiences of happiness and unhappiness—and that my emotions are often the result of ways I have misinterpreted myself, my life, and the world.
It’s overwhelming to consider this at first, because we are used to thinking that happiness lies out there—in a person, a place, an object, or a situation. This is why we often neglect our emotions and attempt to change things on the outside, so they’ll suit our own needs.
However, the truth is that we can’t always change the world. When things don’t go as expected, we often become disillusioned. Still, the only thing we can change (or control) is our reaction to the world and what happens in it.
The emotions that we feel—fear, anxiety, hatred, sorrow, jealousy, happiness—are often the result of an outward action. Nonetheless, their nature is ephemeral. If we put aside our mental interference and investigate emotions the first moments they arise, we’ll realize that they slowly dissipate and get destroyed on their own.
According to Buddhist teachings, all sorts of emotions can be harmful—even the good ones. We might think that we become attached to people or objects, but the truth is that we get attached to the emotions they stir up in us (whether they be pleasurable or painful). That said, the desire to feel certain emotions is the reason we get attached and suffer.
The solution isn’t really about whether we should eliminate certain emotions or not. Emotions are part of our human experience, and we can’t stop ourselves from feeling them. However, what the Buddha was concerned about was how to get to a point where our emotions no longer overwhelm us.
Whether it’s happiness or hatred, how do we prevent it from controlling us?
The Buddha advised us to examine life’s experiences and our reaction to them. We must understand that every experience, person, or object is transient—and our emotions are also transient. An emotion is only fleeting, but it is further expanded through our mental judgment and analysis.
S.N. Goenka explains this beautifully:
“Every sensation shares the same characteristic: it arises and passes away, arises and passes away. It is this arising and passing that we have to experience through practice, not just accept as truth because Buddha said so, not just accept because intellectually it seems logical enough to us. We must experience sensation’s nature, understand its flux, and learn not to react to it.”
This is not being pessimistic; this is cultivating a realistic view on life. When we realize the impermanence of our emotions and experiences, our attitude will automatically balance itself. When faced with a new experience, instead of building expectations around it or getting attached to the feelings it inflicts on us, we deal with it from moment to moment.
Now, how do we discipline these emotions—or, as Goenka suggests: how do we stop reacting to them?
Buddhist philosophy recommends the development of self-observation, self-understanding, and insight. When an emotion arises, pause for a moment and bring awareness to your thoughts and reactions. This is the practice of mindfulness.
Watch the emotion as it arises. See what physical reactions it prompts. Don’t judge it, and don’t fuel it with thoughts. Let the emotion be, and don’t react to it with aversion or pleasure. We will notice that the action we take when our emotions are balanced again is conscious and healthy. However, the outer reaction we have when our emotions are running high can often be destructive to us and others.
Additionally, Buddhism stresses the importance of generating good intentions toward others—especially the ones who have hurt us. When someone harms us, we usually blame them—or we might want to hurt them back. Practicing Metta Bhavana is a good step toward learning how to forgive others and process our emotions of anger and hatred. We must believe that everyone is worthy of happiness, including ourselves.
And finally, meditation is a fascinating technique that the Buddha taught. Practicing meditation teaches us to return to our breath whenever we are faced with overwhelming emotions. It grounds us and puts us back in thepresent moment. Meditation also teaches us to familiarize ourselves with the emotions and thoughts we experience without judging them.
Learning to deal with overwhelming emotions is a process, and we must practice every day. It requires training, willingness, and (most importantly) patience.
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Mindful Bonus:
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Relephant:
{Cutting Through}: Emotions. Does Buddhism Teach Avoiding the Highs & Lows?
The Power of Sitting with our Emotions: Tips for Meditation Practice.
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Author: Elyane Youssef
Image: Unsplash/Naomi August
Image: Unsplash/Naomi August
I Choose to Believe in Santa Claus.
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There is something magical about Christmas.
Sure, we are busy.
The lines are endless,
the traffic is crazy,
we eat too much,
and we spend too much money.
But, Christmas can also be a time for us to reconnect with the magic of the holiday season.
There are things in life that we cannot see, yet we choose to believe. All over the world, there are examples of belief: God, Allah, Jesus, the Great Spirit, and Buddha to name but a few. Despite science and technological advancements, people still choose to believe.
Belief is powerful—almost magical.
Belief can make things manifest.
Believing in the inherent goodness of people can bring out the goodness within, while believing the worst can often have equally negative results.
What is belief, anyway?
Michael Shermer, author of The Believing Brain, explains that, “The brain is a belief engine. From sensory data flowing in through the senses the brain naturally begins to look for and find patterns, and then infuses those patterns with meaning.”
We are hardwired to believe, so we look for reasons to bring that possibility to our everyday lives.
Yet, belief is not for the faint of heart. Believing isn’t easy—in fact, most beliefs are challenged on a regular basis.
Take love. We don’t see love, yet we choose to believe in it. There is nothing easy about love. In fact, we often experience the most hurt from the people who say they love us the most. And yet, we still choose to believe that the power of love will ultimately bring fulfillment and joy to our lives.
That brings us to Christmas. And Santa.
Santa represents possibility, a spirit of generosity, and belief.
The idea of Santa represents the best of humanity and the ways that we can bring joy to the lives of others. Choosing to believe is about seeing limitless possibilities. It’s not about believing in the perfection of a fairy tale; it’s about believing in the ways that we can bring joy to others, share love, and keep a sense of wonder alive in our own hearts, and in the hearts of others.
The Santa Claus story originates from the 3rd century. A monk named St. Nicholas gave all he had to help others and his popularity spread throughout Europe over the years. By the 18th century, the story of Sinter Klaas had made inroads in the New World and the traditions of generosity and spreading joy continued to grow through song, story, TV, and movies.
Many still think that belief in Santa is only for the young.
But, caring for others and showing that caring through generous acts is for all ages.
Bringing joy to those we love and putting the needs of others ahead of our own is inherent to the belief of Christmas.
And so, I choose to believe in the possibilities.
I want others to believe in the possibilities within me and I choose to believe in the possibilities of others.
I choose to believe, to have faith, and to continue to keep the spirit of Christmas alive.
I choose to believe in Santa Claus and the magic of Christmas.
AUTHOR: CARIN REEVE
IMAGE: DON PEEK / U.S. AIR FORCE
Tuesday 25 December 2018
Power
"Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts, perhaps the fear of loss of power." John Steinbeck
I now see that much of what we perceive as power in the world is really fear. Power that seeks to attack first to feel secure is fear. Power that always demands an answer is fear. Power that arrogantly refuses to listen is fear. Spiritual power can be vulnerable. It can live with confusion. It can stand alone. It allows others to walk away to pursue their own happiness. Spiritual power can exist in suffering and loneliness and does not expect perfection. My recovery is teaching me to live and let others live, too. My freedom must respect the freedom of others. Respect is a two-way street.
Give me the power that can rest in imperfection.
On this day of your life
I believe God wants
you to know ...
... that this is the eve
of the birth of the Christ as you.
It is a re-birth, of
course, for the Christ has always been
there. On this special
eve, may you experience that
Presence in you, as you,
through your sharing of the
love that has been brought
to you directly from God.
The wonderful gift of
Christmas is that it is not a one
day or one time
experience, but lasts the whole year
through -- thanks to you.
You are the gift, and as
you give, so shall you
receive.
Peace (OM)
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Peace starts within us - we cannot bring to the world what we do not have to offer.
Often we look at the outside world and find it in a state of
seeming chaos or disorder. We feel compelled to transform the situation from
one of turmoil into one of peace, yet we are often disappointed in our best
attempts to do so. One reason for this is that we cannot bring to the world
what we do not have to offer. Peace starts in our own minds and hearts, not
outside of ourselves, and until its roots are firmly entrenched in our own
selves, we cannot manifest it externally. Once we have found it within, we
can share it with our family, our community, and the whole wide world. Some
of us may already be doing just that, but for most of us, the first step is
looking within and honestly evaluating the state of our own relationship to
peacefulness.
Interestingly, people who manifest peace internally are not different from us; they have chattering thoughts and troubled emotions like we all do. The difference is that they do not lend their energy to them, so those thoughts and feelings can simply rise and fall like the waves of the ocean without disturbing the deeper waters of peacefulness within. We all have this ability to choose how we distribute our energy, and practice enables us to grow increasingly more serene as we choose the vibration of peace over the vibration of conflict. We begin to see our thoughts and feelings as tiny objects on the surface of our being that pose no threat to the deep interior stillness that is the source of peacefulness. When we find that we are able to locate ourselves more and more in the deeper waters and less on the tumultuous surface of our being, we have discovered a lasting relationship with peace that will enable us to inspire peace beyond ourselves. Until then, we help the world most by practicing the art of choosing peace within. |
Not Everything is a Lesson.
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When my husband died a couple of years ago, I spent a lot of time in sadness, grief, and guilt over what I could have done differently.
I knew that I did not have control over a car accident, but I did ask myself what I could have done or said to him on the days, months, and years leading up to it.
Was I kind enough? Did I tell him I loved him often? Did I make too much of a big deal over small things?
As a practitioner of Ayurvedic medicine, I focus on lifestyle, dietary, and herbal recommendations to create a fulfilling, peaceful, and healthy life. On a regular basis, I suggest these changes to patients to help them reach their health and wellness goals.
Everything changed after the death of my husband, however, and I felt steered away from an Ayurvedic lifestyle.
The path that led me to this change proved hard and self-deprecating. I beat myself up over every little thing I did wrong, and I vowed to be nice and kind to everyone in my life going forward. I lost months worth of sleep worrying about whether or not I was doing the right thing in my other relationships, and I continued to regret past actions.
I was seeing a grief councilor at the time who took a Buddhist approach to life and death.
He encouraged me to stay in the present with my feelings, and not project them into the future or the past. Although I understood that on an intellectual level, the grief was so overwhelming that my human instinct was to try to get out of that state of mind by finding a solution.
Then one day, shortly after the entire ordeal, I got caught in the middle of a fight between a dog and a cat and had to go to the emergency room for multiple cat bites on my leg.
Again, I wondered what my lesson was and what the “universe” was trying to tell me. I cried and beat myself up for not understanding what I was supposed to do. I decided that life was telling me to start with a clean slate: the lesson was to close my Ayurvedic practice and find another path in my life. I mean, how could I help others when I could not even help myself?
I went to see an accountant and explained the situation and the lessons I learned, and asked if he could help me close my business. He was silent at first and then what he said made me stop dead in my tracks:
“Not everything is a lesson you know,” he calmly stated.
I must have looked bewildered, because he continued, “I realize that you holistic healers encourage growing and learning, but sometimes, life just happens. And there is nothing that you need to do or change about it. Perhaps one day, you can look back on this and find some message or meaning, but right now, you just need to take care of the problems that arise with integrity, compassion, and truth.”
I realized in that moment that our new age culture has taught us to take so much responsibility for our actions that it has turned into shame. It was an aha moment when I remembered all the patients I had seen who suffered with sadness—simply from trying so hard to “learn” from a situation. The only thing it created was a self-loathing and self-blaming mechanism in place of blaming the world.
Recently, while walking her dog at a crosswalk, my office manager got hit by a car running a red light. A yoga teacher told her that she probably needed to have that happen to help her slow down in life.
No.
That’s ridiculous. We never have to get hit by a car for any reason. And besides, what could a dog learn from getting hit by a car?
We have been taught to either take responsibility or to give the responsibility to others. So often, I hear people talk about someone who was going through a divorce, an injury, or a health problem and what they probably did to create and attract that situation.
The reality is that sometimes sh*tty things just happen. Period.
We can avoid junk food, we can exercise, meditate, and eat whatever diet we choose and it will impact our quality of life. But at the end of the day, it is only our acceptance of life and all that it offers that will release us from these shackles of suffering.
Today, I am back to practicing Ayurveda, and in addition to the lifestyle, herbal, and dietary suggestions I make, I encourage freedom from blame and an acceptance of life as a path to healing. No lesson necessary.
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